Love at second sight
by Ferris90
Summary: There is definitely something off about James Potter - something Lily Evans had not noticed before their sixth year. So when the red head is suddenly feeling undoubtedly attracted to him, she can't help but wonder what it is about that mysterious boy.
1. Chapter 1: Coming Home

Chapter 1

"Coming Home"

As she sat in a bench in the middle of the entrance hall, Lily Evans found herself day dreaming. Lost in her thoughts as she usually was, she didn't notice the two black haired boys who were looking at her; one was in the left corner in front of her, and the other one was in the right corner behind her.

One of them, the one in front of her, was messing with his hair. Not that he needed it; quite frankly it was already a mess. But he looked good. More importantly, _he_ knew he looked good. Truthfully, how could he possibly not know this if every girl had told him so since he was 12 years old? At any rate, James Oliver Potter hadn't thought about Lily Rosaline Evans the whole morning, which was a new record for him. This was the first time he saw her in months, since the last day of school actually and they weren't in the best of terms. He hoped she had forgotten about the whole giant squid fiasco and the thing afterwards, although it would be hard to forget seeing the fact that her best mate had called her a mudblood. Oh, yeah. Her best friend was a whole different subject. James could actually _see_ the git staring at her. How did he even have the face to do so? Okay, so James had never truly liked Severus Snape, but it's not like he had given him any reasons to. The thing that Lily saw (or at least before the giant squid fiasco) in Severus Snape that made her think he was worth having as a friend was a complete mystery for James and his friends.

Severus Snape sat in the right corner behind his (ex?) best friend. He wanted to approach her, to beg for her forgiveness, although deep down he knew there was not anything left to say. She had made things pretty clear last June and she had not responded any of his 19 letters. He wondered for a while if she had read them or if she had throw them instantly to the rubbish bin. As he caught a glimpse of who was in front of Lily, Severus Snape had to suppress the sudden urge to go and curse somebody. He was right there, staring at her. James Potter, the prick that had all of this. If _he_ hadn't pushed Severus to his very limit, he wouldn't have called Lily _that_. Just as Severus was thinking on practical ways of killing James, his slytherin friends entered the entrance hall.

He froze. He knew what would come after this. They were taking Lily's direction. Like he had only once before, Severus Snape felt the sudden urge to do two things at the exact same time; run and confront. He wanted to defend Lily, he truly wanted. But standing against his friends was too risky for him. Severus Snape then packed his things, and left towards the great hall. In the distance, however, he could still hear their teasing laughs.

"Well, well, well… but if it isn't little Lily Evans we have here!" mocked a tall, chubby one, Goyle, as he walked towards Lily.

"I'd rather be little than obese, thank you very much Goyle" Lily spitted.

"Careful there, you mudblood"

Lily was _not_ afraid of Nathaniel Goyle. She could had him stunned before he could blink. It was the fact that he picked on her with that particular word that blurred all her rational senses.

"And I'd watch my mouth if I were you, mate" a very angry and serious James Potter growled.

Immediately, Nathaniel Goyle stepped back. It wasn't that he was afraid of James Potter alone (although quite truthfully, he knew for certain that he would lose in a duel against him) but what he and his other friends "The Marauders" or something like that would do to him if he hexed her. So just one quick glimpse at the venomous stare of James was enough to convince Goyle it was time to go to the Great Hall.

But it was a petite, blonde witch who spoke first.

"C'mon Nate, the sorting will start soon enough."

"Lucky you, Evans… You better watch out, there might not be a Potter next time we see each other."

Lily watched them as they disappeared into the crowd. Although not looking, she was positive James Potter was still staring at her, probably waiting for her to say something. She wasn't sure what she _should_ say, because even if she was not angry at him (another first) the situation was pretty awkward. She had meant to apologize for the whole O.W.L thing by letter, but she didn't find the time or the words to describe exactly how she felt. Not only about the whole Severus thing, but what came afterwards. Sure, he was a stupid arrogant attention seeker, but he had defended her after all and he had been there for her… she probably wouldn't have snapped at him like that if Snape hadn't said… well, that was off topic. Yeah, she probably should just apologize to Potter and be done with it.

"So." She started. Man, this was going to be difficult. "I never really got the chance to uh… apologize to you about what happened on June."

"What?" He was sure taken by surprise.

"I shouldn't have yelled at you like that." She said rather quickly. "Not that you didn't deserved it a little bit, but I shouldn't had snapped at you like that, especially in front of all those people"

James Potter was used to receive many things from Lily Evans. It was so normal for her to turn him down, to yelled at him, to even occasionally punch him in the arm or the gut, that he hardly ever took offence any more. However, he was definitely _not_ used to her apologizing. Yet there she was, although he was undoubtedly bothered by the fact that she had only addressed one part of what really happened.

"Uh—it's alright, apology accepted." He said looking on the opposite direction.

Lily was startled. For the first time in…well, quite a long period of time James Potter _wasn't_ hitting on her; what's more—he was letting a perfect opportunity to hit on her pass. He ran a hand through his dark messy hair.

"You can't stop doing that can you?" She found herself saying.

"And you can't help but notice it, can you?"

"Well, it's not like if I were looking at you across the great hall, _I'm talking to you_".

"Yeah, well whatever."

Lily glared at him. Where did this sudden coldness towards her had come from? She blinked hard, and turned so he couldn't see her confusion.

"I'll see you around Potter."

And before he could say a word, she was gone.

(*)

Lily Evans hurried to sit in the Gryffindor table. She wanted to erase the memory of the last 20 minutes in her head. Truth to be told, she couldn't care less about what any of those slytherins thought. But they weren't just any slytherins, they were Sev's—Severus's friends. How was it possible he couldn't see the kind of people they were?

As Lily looked up, she saw a petite blonde hurry to sit next to her.

"Lily dear, what was all that about?" Asked Marlene Wilson.

"Nothing. Nathaniel Crabbe being a bloody dick" Lily answered as casually as she could.

"So nothing new, then" contributed a second blonde, although she was rather tall and her hair was absolutely straight.

"You would know about that Doe, I heard you almost hexed him near the lake…it would had been funny to see him fall" Marlene said with a laugh.

"Shame you didn't. I would have _paid_ to see that" Lily sighed.

"He wanted to mess with Mary" she explained "After what Mulciber did to her last year? No way in hell was I letting any of those creeps get away with it"

"Did I heard my name?" asked a tall strawberry blonde girl now sitting in front of Lily.

"At least that's what _I_ heard" said the girl that accompanied her, a rather petite brunette.

"Great, now that Mary and Emmeline are here, we're all set!"said Marlene quickly changing the subject.

"All set for what? We still have to wait to the Sorting Hat ceremony to begin" reminded her Lily.

"I wasn't talking about leaving, I was talking about girl chat" replied Marlene.

"Oh, because we're _all_ so into that" whispered Dorcas.

"I haven't seen you guys all summer, you must have done something worth telling"

"Well we can't all be expected to vacation in France… two long months with gorgeous looking French guys" said Emmeline.

Marlene looked at her with an arched eyebrow.

"Is it humanly possible that James Potter has turned any sexier?" The girls heard a Gryffindor third year said to the girl sitting beside her.

And there it was again. The same old argument; every single welcome feast since second year, the usual 'girl chats' across the great hall were about the Marauders; James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. Difference was, at first only girls in their year set eyes on them. Later however, it seemed like they were every Hogwarts girl idea of the perfect date.

"I know what they mean" giggle Emmeline "And that _hair_"

"Oh, please not the chat about the hair" begged Lily.

"We know you hate him Lily dear and yes, he can be a bit of an… what were the exact words?" asked Marlene

"Arrogant toe rag?" helped Mary.

"Right, but you've got to admit… he has a killer body" Emmeline said

"That doesn't take the fact that he's a bully and stupid and selfish" Lily replied.

"I'd agree with Lily, Potter has an unnatural ability to be annoying… and well besides, if you are talking about what marauder has the best looks it would be Sirius " said Mary.

"He's even worse than Potter, if that is humanly possible" argued Lily.

"Sirius isn't _all_ that bad, he's actually quite nice once you get to know him" said Marlene.

All the girls looked at Marlene at once.

"What?" she asked.

"If you want my opinion, the one who has improved a lot… definitely Remus Lupin" stated Dorcas, quickly changing the subject.

"Remus? He's nice" said Lily.

It wasn't true though, nice was too short for Remus; he was the sweetest guy ever. Lily had gotten fond of Remus last year, as they were both Gryffindor prefects and as such they spent a lot of time together.

"I would kill to spent long hours patrolling with him" sighed Dorcas.

"You would probably jump at him" said Mary

"You would too!" replied the blonde.

"Shush, the sorting is about to begin" said Lily.

And just as like that, Albus Dumbledore pronounced the first words of his speech.

(**)

"FIRST YEARS, FOLLOW ME" Shouted Remus Lupin.

As Lily Evans walked with her partner to the Gryffindor common room, she remembered her previous talk with her friends. Truthfully, Remus _had_ improved over the summer (all Marauders had) but he was still sweet and shy.

As soon as all the first year gryffindors had entered through the portrait, Remus gave a big sight and sat in a bench. Lily sat next to him

"Good to see you again" he said.

"You too! How was your summer?" she asked.

"Nothing really excited happened… went to James's house for a week… helped my dad with some stuff… nothing much…actually, it kind of sucked."

"Well it can't have been worse than my summer"

"Why's that?"

"Oh you know… it was kind of awkward bumping into Severus once in a while… and not to mention my sister going on and on about her new job"

"Did you talk to him?" Remus asked.

"No. He wrote me at least 15 letters. I couldn't even read them. It would feel wrong you know… to be his friend again." She answered after a long pause.

Remus looked at Lily with curiosity. She had always been so willing to forgive, so willing to think the best of everyone…except maybe Remus's best friends.

It had always been a kind of mystery, not only to Lily but to everyone in school, how Remus Lupin, prefect, star student, shy and humble, could be best friends with the Marauders. He was not the kind of guy who would pick on other students, not the kind of boy who'd brake a girl's heart without hesitation, not the kind of student who'd have detentions all weeks. Yet his best friends, and brothers to an extent, where exactly those kind of guys.

Lily had always known that Remus was not like the other boys. She could sense it in his loyal heart, his loving smile. She could really empathize with him up to some point as well. He sometimes felt like he didn't really belong there, to the outside world. She, as a muggle born, had felt plenty of times the killer glare of some blood elitists, reassuring her that no matter how good she was or how much she could give to society, she would never really belong there.

It was this…understanding of each other that really brought them together as friends. He was grateful for Lily, she made him smile like no other girl could. He could not see her as something more than a sister as she could not think of him that way either, but they still cared for each other deeply. That was the main reason why Remus couldn't stand seeing her like this.

"Last year" He started "Sirius committed a stupid mistake. A _really_ big one. Don't get me wrong, it was hard to forgive him… for a time I thought it was impossible, that it was the end of the Marauders."

"And then?"

"I realize… I realize that being with them was the one last thing keeping me sane and that as much as I would have liked to stay mad at him, I couldn't. In the end, I was no longer angry but I knew I should be, so I continued pretending but I knew that I had already forgiven, whether I wanted to or not"

"Yeah, but Severus and I… we've been growing apart for a long time now. We weren't really friends at the end, we were just pretending something was there when there wasn't" Lily said.

As soon as the words left her mouth, Lily knew she had known this would eventually happen for a really long time. She had hopped Severus would choose her instead of the dark arts, but she knew he craved power above all, even above her.

"It must have been hard"

"It was…especially because I was what attached him to the bright side or whatever. I mean _his friends_ for god's sake!"

"Well, he's so into the dark—I mean the people he hangs out with are so—" he mumble.

"Don't." she cut him "I know he's into them. Only a blind person wouldn't see that. It's just… _painful_. I've known him since we were kids—really known him, and suddenly now his aspiration is to become a death eater and join Voldemort and I just—I just don't know where I lost him, when he stopped being _him._"

They were quiet for a few minutes.

"People change Lily but sometimes we wish they didn't so badly, we see them as they were and not as they are"

Lily chuckled.

"Wise words, my dear Remus"

He placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Whenever Lils"

(***)

"What took you so long?" asked Sirius Black as his friend a fellow roommate, Remus Lupin entered their bedroom.

"Just talking to Lily" he answered.

"Evans?" asked James Potter with an arched eyebrow.

"The very same"

James, who had been lying in his bed, suddenly sat up. Lily Evans, the girl of his dreams and at the same time his very nightmare. Sirius Black, his best friend and brother in many ways, sighed as he never understood what the big deal was with the redhead but James was stubborn and seemed to think the sun came out just to greet Lily. She was perfect in many ways. She was caring, sweet, mature and beautiful. There was just so little James could do about his feelings for her. His now former feelings, as he had previously stated earlier that day.

"You know, Lily is looking quite fit" said Sirius.

James shot him a deathly look.

"What? Weren't you over her or something?" he asked.

"I am! It's just that you wouldn't want me to say the same thing about—"

"I want dessert. I'm going to the kitchens" Sirius suddenly said.

"You've just finish eating" said Peter Pettigrew.

"But I'm hungry already"

"Leave it Pete, Padfoot is apparently in dick mood"

With a wink, Sirius left the room.

James played with the ring in his finger. He closed his eyes and immediately the redhead's face was on his mind. It was just so… stunning the way she could have him drooling with just a glimpse of those emerald green eyes.

He didn't exactly remember when all this none sense had started. He knew it was somewhere between fourth and fifth year. He was so used to everyone worshiping the ground he walked, that when the petite redhead refused – with disgust even – his approaches, he couldn't help but be…impressed. He knew what being James Potter meant; good looks, money, popularity and talent. In any case, what did that smelly greasy git, Severus Snape, could have that James Potter lacked? Lily Evans was the only thing he had craved above everything else and she was also the one thing he could never get. Maybe Sirius was right, maybe it had been the chase all along and not so much the girl itself. However, a sour flavor in his throat told him otherwise. He sighed, for he knew that it was no good dwelling on those feelings. He almost smiled to himself, knowing that all the pain he had been through this summer had had a positive change in his maturity.

He watched curiously as Remus took out of his trunk a pack of paper and a quill.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm writing" He answered.

"Can figure as much. To whom? It's our first day"

"I promised my mom I'd write as soon as I came here… full moon is just one week and she gets really paranoid with all that"

"Full moon is in one week? Cool" said Peter suddenly.

"It's not cool for me Peter" snapped Remus.

James blinked hard. It was not very likely of Remus to snap at someone, let alone Peter who right now looked as if he were to cry. The look in Remus's eyes soften, and James could not help but take pity on his friend's situation. Sure, his transformations had become tolerable, fun sometimes even, but deep inside he was still hunt by the fact that he was a werewolf.

"I'm sorry" Remus whispered.

"Me too" Peter answered.

"You're right, we should start planning it now that we have the time."

"If you don't feel like it, we can always do it later you know" James offered.

Remus sat down. He passed his hand through his light brown hair, a trend that was usually reserved for James and Sirius. What is more, Remus had always mocked them for it.

"Is something wrong?" Peter asked.

Remus's honey color eyes rested on the half moon.

"Just thinking"

"Well, you're obviously acting weird so spill it out" James said.

"It's nothing—It's just me being stupid"

The other two Marauders didn't looked down.

"I was talking to Lily" Remus started "and I—well you know all the trouble she's having with Snape and I told her I had a problem with Sirius last year and that I could relate to it and you… just—with the whole full moon thing—it just came to my mind."

They were silent for a long time. Each friendship has their own taboo, and the Marauders were no exception. Last May, Sirius had undoubtedly betrayed what they believed to be the most precious of secrets: Remus lycanthropy. It had not been planed, it had not been done to hurt _him_, but that didn't change the fact that it ended up in Severus Snape, their most hated enemy, knowing. Sirius's plan had even scared James, for it showed his brother's most savage, wild and cruel side.

"Moony you know Sirius regrets it to no end" said James quietly.

"I—I know, it's just that it came to my mind."Remus answered.

"Well, if it still counts I'm sorry" Peter mumbled

Remus chuckled and so did James. Peter could only be relieved to see the mood changing, becoming pleasant again.

(****)

Lily Evans sat down in the four poster bed. She sighed and fell back. Everything was just as it had been before, only that it truly was not. She thought about Severus, and how at this time last year they were laughing in the Great Hall.

"Lily sweetie can you help me out?" asked Emmeline.

"Sure Em" she answered "What's it?"

"I want to know which looks best on me" she picked up a school cardigan and a school jumper.

Lily looked at her, puzzled but before she could say anything, Dorcas burst in laughter.

"Seriously Em? SCHOOL CLOTHES? C'mon"

"I _am _serious! I was just asking for her point of view"

"Fine, the cardigan" said Lily rapidly, seeing it was heading to a discussion.

"Great" Emmeline smiled widely.

Dorcas rolled her eyes. It was so typical of Emmeline, worrying about stupid things like what to wear when you had a uniform. It was so weird how the five girls had come together as friends, seeing as they were so different from each other.

Lily for instance, was sweet and intelligent. She had a natural ability to communicate with others, always able to empathize with even the most lost of causes. Surely, that was why _everyone_ liked Lily. It wasn't because she was a breathtaking beautiful model, although she was indeed very pretty; with thick copper locks that hung down to her waist and those big almond shaped emerald green eyes. However, she did have a very strong temper, which she occasionally used to defend herself and others. She was one of the best students in her year as well—only beaten by James Potter himself. It was no surprise to anyone that she had been made prefect, just as it was expected to be the one that became Head Girl next year.

Dorcas on the other hand, was what people would call a liberal. Not only did she despised all the pure blood fanatics, like her mother's side of the family, but she was also against any kind of discrimination—gender, sexual preference, species, or conditions. She was exactly the kind of girl who would attach herself to a tree just to avoid it from being knocked down. Dorcas was probably one of the most peculiar students Hogwarts had ever had the delight of meeting. The tall blonde was no doubtfully a free soul, and believed that monogamy was not to be force upon the human race.

Mary was a tall strawberry blonde girl. Truth to be told, many people would agree there wasn't much about her aside from the fact that she was rather pretty. She was not quite as intelligent as Lily or Marlene. Not quite as interesting as Dorcas. Not nearly as stunning as Emmeline. Mary was _very_ shy. She would turn nervous if a random stranger approached her—or not even necessarily a stranger, but someone whom she had little contact on a daily basis. However there _were_ sides of Mary unknown to almost the entire world but her four roommates. It was things such as her unbendable moral rules, her unconditional friendship, the way she never let anyone make her do something she didn't want that made her so special to her friends.

Marlene was a nice, smart, short blonde. Like Mary, though not as much, she was rather quite. However, there was something…unique about Marlene, which no one could quite figure out, that made everyone around her want to be friends with her immediately. She, just like Lily, possessed a natural ease with people. Although she didn't have Lily's temper at all, quite the opposite of it. Marlene was known for her everlasting patience. There was not much that people knew about her, just the basics; basically, her birth status, her house and the people she spent time with.

Finally, we have Emmeline, who was a gorgeous looking petite brunette. She was very open, never afraid of saying what how she felt. For many people, Emmeline Vance was a paradox herself. Sometimes she appeared shallow—vain even—worrying about a broken nail or bad-morning hair as if the world would come crashing down for it. However she was far from being stupid, in fact she did well in most of her classes and aspire to become an auror, precisely because of her hatred towards the dark arts. She could appear so delicate and feminine, yet she loved Quidditch and played seeker for Gryffindor. It was very appealing to many men how nobody—not even her best friends—could predict her next movement. It was the reason why, summed up with her good looks, she was one of Hogwarts most eligible bachelorettes.

So many people, including sometimes the girls themselves, wondered how was it possible that so different personalities could coexist in a same room, much more how were they together in the same small group. Lily always argued that it was better to have a group of people who each contributed differently to it. At any rate, all five girls were incredibly happy that they had found each other and it was in times of distress that they all had to remember this.

Lily looked at Dorcas, a thankful smile on her lips. The blonde rolled her eyes and with a laugh left the room towards the bathroom. To Lily's right, Marlene just gave Lily a wink and jumped to her feet.

"I think I'm in for some dessert" she said.

"You've just finished eating Mar" pointed out Mary.

"But Rossi promised me some chocolate chip cookies, and I'm _not_ letting that opportunity pass"

"Rossi who?" asked Emmeline

"One of the house elves in the kitchens" explained Lily.

"Oh. The one that made the birthday cake for Mary's?"

"The very same."

"She's so sweet"

Marlene gave a wide smile and continued her way out of the bedroom.

(*****)

Sirius Black waited next to the kitchen door. Truthfully, he did not know exactly what he was doing there. He shouldn't be there, he knew that much. However there he was, nervously—although he would die before showing it—waiting for the petite blonde with whom he had spent almost three weeks in the Mediterranean coasts of France. The black haired boy still wasn't sure what to make out of her. She wasn't the kind of girl he was used to hang around with, not even remotely close. Sirius's usual female company were pretty girls, not precisely known by their intelligence, that like him had their hormones flying around. He was never rejected by a woman, probably because of his charming manners.

But there was something really odd about Marlene Wilson. He didn't want to woo her, or to get in her bed or to get her to do his homework. He didn't really want anything from her. Just to be around her. It was strange, but she had this sort of relaxing effect on him; he could be drowning in his own desperation, but one word of her could make him as docile as a baby. The weeks spent with his favorite cousin Andromeda, had been one of pure blissfulness yet the terrible news, one after the other, of his family's atrocious acts had had him buried in complete darkness. Worst so, regarding the fact that his best friends, which kept him from going insane all those years, were miles and miles away. He had been poison with the pain, until she decided she would have none of it, and came to his rescue.

"Penny for your thoughts?" she asked, surprising him.

He looked up, his grey eyes staring straight to her blue ones.

"They are worth a whole lot more"

She rolled her eyes, but held a smile.

"How's it been since we got here?"

"Good. I think. Although everything seems terribly different from previous years" He said.

It was true, although he could only tell her to an extent. First, last time they had come back, Sirius hadn't made the foolish decision of almost killing Severus Snape and even if it was all forgiven, coming back to the castle had been a reminder of what he had done. Remus had had a particularly harsh time facing the fact that he was betrayed by someone he would have sworn never would. Then there was James. James, who was the leader of the Marauders and the one always bringing laughs to their faces, had been hit hard this summer as well. In the last few days he hadn't smiled nearly half of what he usually smiled. He was lost in his thoughts for what seemed like hours. James, who hated silence, now seemed to crave it. Even Peter seemed different. Somehow sadder.

"I know what you're talking about. The atmosphere—it seems colder somehow." She whispered

"Considering we are in September?"

She gave him a soft punch in the arm

"Not literally. I don't know, I guess there are just a bunch of things going on for everyone that were not there when we left."

"Two months can be a long time" He said staring blankly at the window.


	2. Chapter 2: First Day

**AN**: Well, here it is (: Chapter 2— I hope you enjoy it! I will try to update sooner this time. AND SORRY, for the crappy tittles…I'm not really good at them, as you will discover soon enough. As for why I deleted the prologue… I actually realize I didn't like it… not in the slightest SO yeah, there's that.

**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own HP, everything goes to the wonderful JK Rowling

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 2 <strong>

"**First day"**

"I really don't want to be late to our first class" grumbled Remus Lupin, as his friends and fellow Marauders continued eying the parchment that he had given them earlier that morning.

"Who cares about class?" asked Sirius Black enthusiastically "Moony you did the impossible! You _improved_ the map!"

"It's not really improving—it's just in case anyone wants to use it as anything other than a map won't be able to"

"What about the amazing password?" Contributed Peter Pettigrew

"This is fantastic Moony" agreed James Potter.

Remus blushed a little. It was not common for him to be the center of attention in his group of friends for anything other than his transformations. James was the mind of the group and the one who had the ideas for their pranks, Sirius the one who planed how to carried them out.

"Now could we please go to class?" asked Remus. "Slughorn isn't going to be too pleased with us if we are late on the first day."

(*)

"Girls I'm telling you, there is something he's not saying" said Emmeline.

"Who was 'he' again?" asked Marlene.

"Leigh Davies, that Ravenclaw seventh year." Answered Lily.

Marlene rolled her eyes. He was probably Emmeline's monthly boyfriend. Although probably Emmeline had already stated he was the one, and that he was different from all the others. If this was true or not, Marlene didn't know. She hoped, but she didn't think so—Emmeline's record was full of pricks and gits.

Lily eyed her reprehensibly. However weary it might be to listen all day to Emmeline go on and on about boyfriend, in times of romantic need, she had always been by their side, giving the right advices. Although, mostly it was Emmeline who needed the advices, rather than the girls. Dorcas would rather play a stare contest with a basilisk before she'd ask or follow anybody's dating advice; and the rest didn't date as much as Dorcas or Emmeline.

"C'mon Lil, you've had plenty of experience with Ravenclaw boys" said Emmeline.

Lily shot her a dirty look.

"Why don't you try and talk to him about how you feel?" suggested Mary, before Lily OR Emmeline could say something they both regretted later.

"We've been sort of going out for _two_ months Mare, not two years. It's too early to talk about feelings"

"Or maybe is it because the whole spectrum of human emotions terrifies you?" Mary offered

Emmeline blinked hard. Then shook her head.

"No. It's just too early"

"What exactly is 'sort of' going out for you?" asked Marlene

"You know… the first month was only dating and kind of 'let's see what happens next' but then he asked me to be more serious as in exclusive, and we are, but I've never heard him introduce me—"

"as his girlfriend, which leaves you wondering if he's as serious as you are?"

"Exactly, yes. Although I don't know for certain if we are in a relationship…we are more like in a flirtationship"

Marlene laughed. Emmeline winked at her, and continue braiding her hair. It was weird, to think that at this time next year they would be in their final year at Hogwarts and then…off to work. The magical world differ to the muggle one precisely in that; Marlene's dad had once told her that once you finish muggle school you pass on to something called university, in which you study to become a professional. In the magic world, you finish school and that's it; you're thrown into the labor market. Of course, if you want to become an auror or a healer, you'd need to train for three years. Marlene was still undecided about what she would do as soon as she ended her studies. The very first step, picking her NEWT classes, had already been done. Speaking of which…

"We'll be late for breakfast" said Lily

"Which would mean we'll be late for potions" added Dorcas

"Exactly"

"And _nobody_ wants to be late to potions…" said Emmeline sarcastically

"I've told you! Once you get the hang of it, it's actually fun—"

(**)

"Well, well, well!" started professor Slughorn "I'm very pleased to see you again! This year we'll have to do our best effort in order to cover everything in the syllabus. So, shall we get going?"

He looked at Lily, to which she gave him a broad smile.

"Today you'll try to breed a cure for boils potion! It's VERY easy, if you ask me. But first, let me put into your assigned seats."

Lily suddenly stopped smiling, and her heart bear rate suddenly increased by tenth fold.

It was no news that Slughorn adored Lily because of her natural ability for potions. However, His admiration for her only increased when she worked with his other favorite student—Severus. Honestly, she could have handle the situation like a grown adult would and accept his apologies but still remain distant with him. Only that in practice, it was impossible. It was impossible for her to maintain a conversation with him about what had happened and not burst into tears or slap him in the face—which ever emotion took over her first. She could easily be in the same room with him…it didn't really matter much to her now, but to work with him? That would definitely involve some talking…and in order to carry out the assignment in an organized and civil way they would _need_ to talk about not-so-potions-related-matters. Lily took a deep breath, and silently prayed to God that somehow Slughorn decided that having his two best students in a single team would unbalance the class.

"As soon as I call your name, you will start working"

Lily looked down and bit her lip, waiting for her name to be call along with Severus's. However when it didn't happen and his name was called with "Johnson, Carla" she heave a sigh of relief. She thanked God, and promised to be the nice to her partner.

"Evans, Lily" Slughorn began as Lily picked up her things "Potter, James"

Perhaps she thanked too quickly.

(***)

God, she was nervous. More than that, she was going to vomit any instant now. She hadn't even thought of James Potter while praying, because if she had remember she would have certainly included him in the list of people she DIDN'T want to work with. Of course, she had apologize the day before and that _should_ make things less awkward. Nonetheless, every time she remembered what had happened that night she flushed in embarrassment and every time she saw him, she automatically remembered it in detail. Lily blinked hard, and sat next to the dark haired boy. The tension between them was almost visible, and she could feel herself beginning to sweat. _It's not like he's important_ she thought _It's James BLODDY Potter_.

"So, shall we start?" He beat her.

"Yes of course." She stammered.

"Great. I'll heat the cauldron, you can crush the snake fangs"

So she did. It was weird though, to have James Potter being the one to direct the potion. Furthermore, it was beyond weird that he had not hit on her, or told her some stupid-not-funny-at-all joke the minute he was told he would work with her. Although the class had just began 10 minutes or so ago, it was too early to tell…

"Watch your fingers while you crush the fangs" he said, looking at her index finger, being dangerously close to the stone. As she had finished though, she gave him the small bowl.

Still, she blushed. God, did she have to concentrate. Why was she having trouble concentrating? He didn't appear to have any. She didn't even _like_ the guy, and she was troubling herself thinking IF there was something wrong with him. After all, he might pretend to be silent and well behaved, but he was still James Potter, and James Potter could not escape his true nature; that is of course, a trouble maker. But right there and then, James Potter was the perfect image of a good student, with his book open, waving his wand and paying close attention to the potion. The only thing that gave away James's disregard for rules were his looks. He had broad shoulders and an overall muscular frame. His nose was rather long, and his hazel eyes were decorated with long thick eyelashes—very much like hers actually. His jet black hair stuck up in all directions, like if he had gotten up from bed and had not even bother to look in the mirror. He seem to not care at all about his looks, not even realizing how good looking he was.

"Done" he said, waking her up.

"What?" she asked

"The potion. We wait and then we continue"

"Oh. Right." She managed.

Then, Slughorn came over to their table, giving them a big smile.

"Well but isn't this fantastic! 20 points to Gryffindor" he said, amazed by the color and smell "You two do make a good team…Now, those essays explaining the process! I'll need them for tomorrow's class."

Lily smiled appreciatively. She opened her book, and immediately pass a finger through the margins. The book was new, so the margins were still intact. Last year, they had been covered with scrawls and tips for a better performance. Severus did this a lot too; writing in the margin of books was one of his defying traits. She took a mental note to pass some of the notes to her new book. Except maybe those "L+L" drawings she had done last year while dating Lucas Day. Funny really, how nearly everything reminded her of Severus. Of course, there was no way around it. They had been best friends for 6 years, and she could try as hard as she liked, but there were memories not even the fiercest of angers could erase. Lily looked at James, and was surprise to see he had already written half of his essay. After a while, he stood up.

"I think it's ready" He said.

"It's only been thirty minutes or so, it needs to be forty five"

"Yeah, but at thirty five you'll get better results. I've done this potion about a thousand times" He explained and he was about to add the horned slugs when Lily stopped his hand with her own.

"I've done it a thousand times too—and believe me, if thirty five minutes gave a better result I'd know it…Se—my partner last year like to experiment with timing and measurements"

He was quite, only for what to an observer would have been a couple of seconds, but the way he kept his burning gaze on her, a couple of seconds could have been easily confused for hours.

"You know, there _might_ be times where people other than Snape and yourself can manage to get a sodding potion hunch right" He replied, the slightly angry tone in his voice now being more evident.

"I am not saying you're wrong or that it can't be, all I'm saying is that it would be strange for it to have an effective shortcut and that neither my part—Severus or I have discovered it"

"Well, let's try it and see if it works or not"

"That's not the way potions are made Potter!" she replied, losing her temper. "I'm actually quite good at Potions, and I know that timing is ESCENTIAL and you should know it too"

"Why don't you just go up to Slughorn and ask for a change of partner, if you're not going to do anything I tell you to because, after all, I'M JAMES POTTER and to Lily Evans that's quite a label isn't it?"

"This has nothing to do with—"

"This has everything to do with your aversion towards me! If someone else, say gee I don't know Remus, told you there was an effective shortcut you would listen to _them_"

"That's not true! I would tell them exactly what I've told you! But of course, you've got to think this is about YOU because YOU are so damn especial that if I correct something it's GOT to be because I hate you, it can't be because you're wrong!" she retorted, just as angrily as he

She felt the heat rising to his face, and suddenly realized how heavily she was breathing. How dared he? He was such an obnoxious little prat! Why couldn't he just follow the instructions? Why couldn't he just stop contradicting everything she said?

"Let's do this" he said, lowering his voice "We add the goddamn horned slugs at forty minutes. We'll see if it's better or worse than forty five"

It was fair, she thought, but she was still too angry at the boy sitting beside her to actually do something he wanted.

"I'm not okay with any of this" she stated

"You don't have to be"

And without a blink, the horned slugs were in the cauldron.

(****)

"Really, I've got to say it is absolutely fantastic how you even changed the time! Got the perfect boiling point!"

Lily managed a smile. Of course, James gave him a huge smile that show how satisfy he was with himself. She considered going to Slughorn after class to ask for a change of partner. Then she thought about Potter's ultimate satisfaction when he saw he had actually got to her nerves. No, definitely she was NOT going to give James Potter any reason to smile. That stupid, arrogant smirk.

"Guess I was right" He said and winked.

Lily felt a sudden urge to punch the guy right in the face. However, before she got the chance, he got up and made his way out of the classroom. She clenched her teeth and did the same. She couldn't believe the nerve of that guy. Seriously, who the hell did he thought he was? Running around with that big head of his, always showing off how much he knew, making every girl he knew giggle with that horrible smirk.

If he wasn't such an egocentric toe rag, she _might_ like him even a little bit. She'd always tried to be friendly or at least civil with her peers, however as much as she tried it was almost as impossible for her to be civil with Potter as it was for her to be friends with Mulciber. Every time she thought he was actually bearable, he did stuff like what he had just done while doing the potions: deliberately making her angry, for no reason what so ever. It wasn't that she actually _wanted_ to be angry at him. For God's sake, it would be a hell lot easier for everyone if they made peace but something about James Potter drove Lily mad. Absolutely and completely mad. Ever since June –the whole "giant squid fiasco" as Lily had name it – she had tried, really tried to have a better image of James. After what she had done, she didn't know how she could look him in the face without blushing and remembering…

"Lily! Wait up!" Someone yelled behind her, waking her from her reverie.

Jeremiah – Jeremy – Mackinnon was the fifth and final male in the Gryffindor sixth year boys' dorm. People often thought of him just as that: the fifth Gryffindor, as he was the only one that didn't belong to the Marauders. Not that he wanted to, anyway. He didn't had the natural nerve to break the rules as his other roommates had, and even if he was fun to be around he rarely pulled any pranks. He was, what woman would consider, rather good looking although not quite as striking as James or Sirius. He had amber eyes, olive skin and a child-like sweet smile. Above all things, what really matters to us, is that Jeremy Mackinnon was one of Lily Evans best friends.

It had all started somewhere between fourth year, when Jeremy was still chaser for the Gryffindor Quidditch team. Due to all the stress that homework, practices, family drama and an on and off girlfriend produced, Jeremy Mackinnon had poured his heart out to Lily Rosaline Evans a cold December afternoon, when his uncle had finally decided to join the rows of Lord Voldemort. From that moment on, they were confidents and great friends. That's the mayor reason why Lily was so happy to see Jeremy grinning at her.

"Hey there, stranger. Didn't see you yesterday" she said while hugging him.

"Yeah well, first days are always busy. How's it been so far?" he asked

"Well, I ought to work with James Potter this year in Potions…" Jeremy snorted "while obviously trying to avoid looking at Severus's death glares and…yeah, there's that. How's your day been so far?"

"I ought to work with Janice Hunt" he offered.

"Janice Hunt as in Ravenclaw's Janice Hunt? That's not bad at all—Janice is nice"

"Yeah, bet she's not that nice if I screw one potion"

Lily let one laugh out. Janice was nice, but she—like a good Ravenclaw—had some kind of aversion to anything less than perfect. Well, and Jeremy was not the most careful person you could find. They continue walking towards the castle's gardens.

"You know I've always thought there is something more about Hogwarts than what we can actually see" she said, looking at the floor.

"You mean like… the chamber of secrets?" He bantered

She shoved him softly

"Haven't you ever thought about all the things that pass through our eyes, without us even realizing it? Like, secret passages or I don't know, secret rooms?"

"Well, if there is any secret passage that the Marauders have not yet located, I'd be impress"

Lily sighed. The Marauders knew every single passage of Hogwarts—or at least, every useful passage. They were never too late to class, even if they were the ones that left the common room after everyone else. It kind of bothered Lily, with her being a prefect and all. She knew for certain some days they were out long after curfew, Remus would turn just a tad too nervous while patrolling certain areas. She had always thought it was because they were out having sex with some random girl in a broom closet, she really didn't want to know.

"Hogwarts is _huge_ Jeremy, there _must_ be some kind of place those idiots have not discover"

"Possibly. What? You want to go explore the castle's depths?" He asked sarcastically

"Ha, Ha. That would really please Professor McGonagall" she responded.

At the back, they heard a bunch of first years talking about their first flying lesson. Lily smiled. Her first flying lesson ever had gone pretty bad; her broom had hit her face and broken her nose as soon as she said "up". It had been pretty embarrassing now that she was thinking about it. Although now she was…well, not entirely _good_ at flying… perhaps okay would define it better. At any rate, she could get on a broom and fly without hitting a building, which was enough for her. Jeremy's thoughts must've been in Quidditch too, by the way he was looking at the first years.

"Have you thought about trying out for the team this year?" she asked

"I've told you—after the fall my mum made my promise I would never step a foot in the field."

She sighed. Jeremy had fall off his broom in the last Quidditch match of his forth year. It had not even been due to his flying abilities—if anything, it had been the Slytherins who hadn't play fair and started throwing bludgers at the Gryffindor chaser. Furthermore, it had been raining—everyone struggled to keep playing. It didn't matter to his mother, at any rate. He had to promise her he'd never play again…but it was just so difficult. Cheering for his house, not being able to be the one they cheered for. It was just so..._unfair_.

"She doesn't need to know" Lily whispered.

Jeremy gave her a sad smile.

"She would end up knowing, and that would only mean trouble for me" he looked at her and shook his head slightly "We'll be late to Charms if we don't hurry up"

"Flitwick won't mind" she grabbed his wrist and pulled him in "You know that the only person capable of changing the situation is you right?"

He swallowed.

"Yes, I do. Believe me, I do. It's not that I want to sit around and watch the team win the Quidditch cup without me being any help whatsoever and however tempting going behind my mother's back is, I couldn't really do that to her. After all, I'm all she has" Lily slowly let go of his hand. "I've heard Potter is a terrific captain, anyway. I'm out of practice…I probably wouldn't pull it off."

"I don't think Potter would be a problem, for the first time in his life"

Jeremy stared at the floor.

"We'll never know"

(*****)

"I'm exhausted" said Sirius Black as he stretched.

"From what? First day?" asked Remus mockingly across the Gryffindor table.

It was already dinner. The day had gone pretty well for all of them—except maybe James. He was still a little—uh, what would be the word? puzzled perhaps? At the whole thing that occurred during potions. Sure, it had gone far better than what he could've imagine. Obviously, his intentions of maintaining things civil with Lily Evans had not yet considered her feelings towards the matter. It was just so—confusing. What did he ever do to her? Well, there was the whole giant squid fiasco… and there might've been some other times too, but hey nothing way too serious to cause that hate. Suddenly, he became angry again. Why? Why couldn't she just accept that she wasn't right _all_ the bloody time? James passed a hand through his dark messy hair. It wasn't time to think about Lily Evans. It was Marauders time.

"First days are always very exhausting, my dear Moony" answered Sirius

"We have barely done anything" Remus pointed out

"Well, to be fair Flitwick has already given us an assignment" said Peter, while cutting his chicken.

"Seemed pretty easy though. It's just research" James cut in

"Well we do kind of have a huge homework for History of Magic" Sirius remembered

"Not that you plan on doing it, I suppose"

"I don't intend to, no" said Sirius with an air of elegancy.

"You guys seen the Prophet today? There has been a sort of massacre" Remus informed, he clearly had not been paying any attention to his friends for the past thirty seconds.

"What do you mean by sort of massacre?"

"8 muggles were found dead—it's not very difficult to figure out who did it"

"Could we please _not_ talk about mass murderers or any death related issue while eating?" pleaded Peter.

"Difficult considering we are in the middle of a war" replied James.

The atmosphere suddenly turned cold. Each of the boys continued eating in silence for about 2 minutes.

"Uh-oh, got to keep moving!" said Sirius while standing up.

"Where are you going?" asked Peter

"Got myself a hot date, Wormtail!"

"Who's the bird?"

"Clarisse Wagner"

"The Hufflepuf Quidditch Captain?"

"The very same"

"You know it always surprises me how quickly you can hook up with people, especially because we were with you all day and I don't recall seeing you invite her" noted Remus.

Sirius winked and continued his way out of the great hall. Remus merely laugh and James rolled his eyes. Something told him Sirius wasn't going to wake up in his bed—or maybe he would use that big brain of his and snuck after she fell asleep. At any rate, his best friend wasn't the best at controlling his hormones (nor did he had any desire to, anyway) and when his body asked for something…well, it usually got it.

"Have you've got any plans for the first prank back?" asked Peter curiously, obviously addressing James.

"No…not really anyway. Maybe we could turn Mrs. Norris hair pink or something like that" He answered, a little distracted.

"'Turn Mrs. Norris hair pink'? For the first prank back?" Remus arched an eyebrow, worry suddenly showing in his amber eyes.

Remus had never been the one to plan the first prank back, nor was had he'd ever been anxious about it. As a prefect, it was hard enough to resemble any kind of moral authority to younger Gryffindors with him being part of the Marauders, but it worsened every time his best mates pulled an exceptionally huge—and spectacular—prank. Deep down (well, maybe not that deep), he kind of enjoy most of them but he didn't look forward to make them, or at any rate not as much as his fellow Marauders did. James and Sirius had always been the most expectants for first pranks back. Planning them carefully and making sure they were even better than the year before. That's why even if he knew he should've been relieved to hear that he was planning on making just a tiny non harmful joke, he was horrified. The question seemed stupid, but it left his lips before he realize it had

"James, are you okay?"

He blink. For the very tiniest of seconds, James Potter's mind went blank. Just milliseconds, really.

"Yeah, I'm fine" he assured him.

But you see, that's the thing about being so close to someone. The slightest twitch of doubt, the shortest of hesitations—they were enough for them to know something was wrong. The sad look in James Potter's eyes betrayed him, and his other many nervous quirks. James Potter, was most definitely and surely NOT okay.

(******)

"News anyone?" asked Dorcas Medowes, while she paint her nails.

Emmeline made as if to speak

"No, Em, your wardrobe for tomorrow _doesn't_ count" she added quickly.

Emmeline made a face and continue folding her clothes in her trunk. The sixth year Gryffindor girls usually had a nice girl chat—as Marlene liked to call it—before heading to sleep. Quality time, Lily said.

"Okay, so if nobody is talking—I think I'll try out for the team this year" Dorcas told them

"Doe, that's incredible!" Marlene said while she hugged her.

"Watch out! Fresh nails" she warned

"Oh darling that would be great! We would be teammates!" Emmeline looked at her, grinning. "What position?"

"Chaser. Isn't it a little obvious?" she laughed

Emmeline shrugged. Well, come to think about it… maybe it was a tad obvious. Emmeline was _obviously_ a seeker—her petite frame and her flying skills made her way quicker than any person on the team, perhaps only bested by James Potter himself. Dorcas was taller, way too tall to be a seeker, and although she had good reflexes, Emmeline doubt that they were enough to be a keeper. Beaters were usually male, because you had to have exceptionally strong arms. For chaser, however, she had all the qualities; quite fast, reasonable reflexes and strength in the legs.

"When are the Quidditch try outs?" Lily suddenly asked.

Dorcas arched an eyebrow

"I thought you didn't like flying"

"Not for me…I'm trying to get Jeremy to join the team again. He'd be so happy"

"Didn't he almost die in forth year while playing?" remembered Mary, who had came back from taking a shower and was now magically drying her hair.

"To be fair, it was one of the worst storms of the year" Marlene recalled.

"Exactly! My point is" Began Lily "His mum can't simply deny him the opportunity of doing what he loves just because he had an accident. It's stupid. After Hogwarts I _doubt_ he will find somewhere to play properly at a non professional level—and worst with all this death eaters attacks going on everywhere"

"Well, I've met Jeremy's mum and all I can say is…I'm glad it's not mine" Dorcas smirked at her own joke

"Doe! That's not a nice thing to say" Marlene reprimanded her

"But it's the truth! The woman is nuts. I had the un-pleasure to meet her in one of my grandmother's crazy all-pure-bloods-together galas. She was checking Jeremy all the sodding time and we were like…fifteen? Or maybe fourteen…either way, he was way too old for his mother treatment…and the conversations she held, for Christ sake! They probably not any worst than all of the other pureblood fanatics though"

"You know my mum always talks about your family's galas. I will accompany her one day to see if they're as bad as you say they are" Marlene said as she jumped to her bed

Dorcas snorted.

"I paint a pretty picture, Mar, for the sake of our friendship"

"GIRLS! Focus! Jeremy?" Lily offered while arranging some prefect's paper work.

"Well, have you tried convincing him to do what his heart tell him to do?" suggested Mary

"Mare this is about him playing in his house Quidditch team, not who he should be bloody marry to" Emmeline said

Mary blushed. Yeah, probably she had said something stupid again. It happened a lot to her. She gave the _worst_ advices ever, or at least the lamest ones. She couldn't help it really, to be a hopeless romantic. It was just so…easy, to get lost in other people's life, because quite truthfully she didn't had very much going on in hers at most times. She just…lived? She didn't do anything nearly as excited as the others. She didn't play Quidditch like Dorcas or Emmeline, nor did she date as much as they did. She didn't have Marlene's or Lily's ease with people, and her friends truthfully limited to the human beings in that room.

"I don't think he's ever going to stand up for himself" lamented Lily

"Well, too bad—but you know, he should be able to do that on his own" Dorcas suddenly realize the three books that laid on top of Lily's trunk "What's that?"

"History of Magic's homework. We need to compare contemporary and old authors" she explained

"Thank God I dropped out of that class"

"It's actually quite good. I've already picked my contemporary author…I had never heard the name of the book, but it seemed good"

"Which one did you choose?" asked Mary

"Uh…something like 'The perks of independence'? I really can't remember…gee, I can't even remember the author"

Marlene laughed

"Well, then it must be unknown because you've read the entire Hogwarts library"

Lily rolled her eyes, but laughed all the same. Indeed, she loved to read. Although secretly she preferred muggle stories. Wizard literature…it was good, magical indeed, but somehow a little _too_ elitist and _too_ old-fashioned most of the times. Muggle literature was in constant change, you could find almost any type of book now days…from science fiction to romance to mystery and the list could go on and on and on. Wizard literature was almost always about adventure or historical. Some were actually quite good books, but not quite as entertaining as the other ones.

The girls' voice suddenly disappear, and one by one they fell asleep. Before Lily did however, a tingle of curiosity made her decide to read a chapter of her new book.

"The perks of independence"

By Helena Burke

As Lily opened the first page, there was a dedication, written by hand.

"_To him, for helping me unfold my wings"_

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong> So yeah, that was chapter 2 for you, folks. Please review if you like it, love it or hate it or have any human response towards it (: (: (:

Love,

Ferris


	3. Chapter 3: Boys Will Be Boys

**AN: **Guys I'm so so so so so so sorry for taking 2 months to update, I've been pretty busy. I promise I will not take that long to update again (: I hope you enjoy it!

**DISCLAIMER: **As much as I would like, I don't own HP, everything goes to JK Rowling

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

"**Boys will be Boys"**

"It's marvelous, It's deep and genius and incredible and—" Lily stammered on their way to the great hall.

"Very well written and the woman is practically your new role model, you've just told us about a thousand times in the last four days" Dorcas said wearily

"I can't help it! It's incredible, her struggle with all the pure blood fanatics and her family! I feel so—identified with Jane that I can barely believe it"

"Who's Jane again?" asked Emmeline confused

"The main character" answer Lily, a little bit shocked that she hadn't known until this point

"What was the book called again?"

Lily was about to say something, probably repeating _all_ her speech over again. But Dorcas knew better.

"GOD EMMELINE, she has been all about that book since Friday and you still haven't figure out that the main character's name is Jane?" intervened Dorcas. Marlene, who was at her right side, touched her forearm softly as to say _It's okay, relax_.

"Well, I have short-term memory" Emmeline retorted giving the tall blonde a dirty look. Dorcas snorted, Emmeline could remember gossip back from first year and she couldn't remember the name of the god damn book her best friend had been talking about for days?

The problem wasn't really Emmeline though. Dorcas could usually stand her without too much problems at most times. As much as an air head Emmeline sometimes appeared, Dorcas knew better than to believe she was just another silly girl. For every flaw Emmeline had she could find 20 other good things. It had just been a bad week, filled with stressful family drama. She knew it wasn't fair to act like a bitch to her friends; _they_ weren't the ones to blame. Dorcas took a deep breath. A quick glance to her right and she had a very sudden and very good idea as to how to save the situation.

"Em, isn't that Leigh?"

Emmeline gave a sudden turn, her chocolate locks flying like a muggle shampoo advertisement. A tall, blue eyed, blonde guy appeared in front of her. Emmeline's lips curled into the biggest of smiles, and almost running, gave him a light peck on the lips.

"I guess that answers your question" whispered Mary

Emmeline intertwined her fingers with his and turned her head

"I'll see you guys at lunch, right?" she asked the girls

"Of course" agreed Lily.

"Great" she said, and then left hand in hand with the Ravenclaw

Lily's thoughts suddenly drifted away, to a place that resembles "The perks of independence" scenario. She had always loved books; they had accompanied her throughout her life. It wasn't like she couldn't bear with reality, she just didn't like it. Her father had passed away when she was thirteen, and like Lily, he had loved books. It sort of brought her back to him. Lily loved the connection she found in some, like they were written especially for her, and they were just waiting for her to read them.

"Oh no, we're losing Lily" warned Mary.

"Snap her out of it!" said Dorcas while she waved a hand in front of Lily

"I'm here, I'm here" she reassured them, and laughingly added "And even if I was in a reverie, no need to look at me like if I were about to die"

Marlene's eyes however, were focused on a particular bench, were the four Marauders sat, Sirius Black having a pretty Hufflepuf for company. He didn't even seem to acknowledge her presence, but certainly all eyes were on her. It was a strange event, Sirius Black being seen in public with one of his flirts. Marlene's eyes weren't sad, nor happy. They were just…blank. However, her lost stare was exchange by one of pure happiness when the black haired boy turned to see her, and gave her a big broad smile. More so, considering he stood up, with a remarkable disregard for the pretty Hufflepuf, and went straight to where she was standing.

"Well there you are! I've been looking for you all morning" He said, as if it was something she should've known. He lowered his voice to a barely perceptible whisper "Get me out of here"

"You know, I've been looking for you too!" Marlene's voice was natural, although she was throwing Sirius an inquisitive look "I need to tell you something very important, is about that thing"

Meanwhile, Dorcas, Mary and Lily were shooting Marlene a what-the-hell-is-he-talking-about look. Of course they'd be confused. She was a good actress though.

"Right, right." He turned to the Hufflepuf "Clarisse, my dear, I got to go. Friend's duty and all. Hope it doesn't bother you?"

Clarisse Wagner gave a sweet genuine smile. Oh God. Now Marlene really did felt bad for lying to her.

"No, of course not" She picked up her things "I'll see you around Sirius"

Sirius gave her one of his famous smirks, and Marlene knew it was all forgiven. He usually got his way by doing that. He then started to softly push Marlene to the door, going towards the castle's gardens.

"Anything you want to share with me, Sirius?" she asked in the lowest of whispers, knowing that about 10 pairs of eyes were staring at them, waiting for them to do something remotely interesting. Being Sirius public friend was something sort of new to Marlene, and probably all the people that just heard him ditch Clarisse for her were wondering if there was something more going on between them.

"Let's just keep walking, shall we?" he answered, just as low as her.

Marlene swallowed. She turned to her friends, all a little confused to be honest.

"I'll catch up with you girls in a bit, all right?"

They nodded. Although she wasn't there to see it, as Sirius Black was walking extremely fast and forcing her to do the same. When they reached the gardens, she stopped and looked at him in the eye.

"Well?"

"Well what?" He arched an eyebrow. Marlene arched both.

"Why would you want to ditch Clarisse?"

"Long story" Sirius rolled his eyes, and he opened his mouth –no doubt to change the subject –when Marlene beat him.

"Make it short"

"Well" he started as he sat on a rock "Yesterday I…well…I sort of…"

"You sort of slept with Clarisse?" She guessed

He looked up, a little bit apologetic. It wasn't like he needed to or should apologize, it was just weird. He never talked about whatever things he did or had done with girls. Not to _other_ girls at least. It made him uncomfortable, to be honest and because this was such a new feeling to Sirius Orion Black, he hated it. Maybe more so, considering it was Marlene he was talking to. He wasn't precisely a gentleman most of the times; in fact he was quite the opposite.

"Kind of"

"How could you 'kind of' sleep with someone?"

"Well, technically if you—"

"Forget it, I don't really want to know the details" she said disgusted. Sirius burst in laughter at the sight of her expression "Glad you find it funny. Now to the point"

"What?" he asked mockingly "Can't I find your disgust for sexual references funny?"

Marlene's face turned a vivid red. She wasn't disgusted by sex. She wasn't. It was just that it made her extremely uncomfortable to talk to Sirius about it. Mainly, because he had slept with more girls than your average 40 year-old and Marlene was as virgin as Jesus' Mother.

"For your information, I'm not disgusted by your sexual innuendos, I just don't like to talk about sex with—"

"Men"

Yeah, well, basically.

"You haven't answer my question, Sirius"

He sighed. There really wasn't any point in trying to keep things away from her, was it?

"Usually I sneak out before the bird wakes up but today, damn me, I over slept and Clarisse woke me up and when I got to the great hall she was suddenly next to me… acting like we were a…like a…"

"Like a couple?"

"Exactly, yes"

"Which you're not, and you don't have any intention to be?"

"You do know me well, Wilson"

"You're not as mysterious as you think you are" she shook her head slightly, although she was smiling.

"Oh, that's what you think" He said, with a big triumphant smirk in his lips, wondering what would be the plans for tomorrow's full moon.

(*)

The fact that Lily Evans _was_ nervous was the understatement of the century. How could she not? Last potions class had been a total and complete disaster! She knew it had been partly her fault, partly Potter's. She'd lost her temper just as soon as he had lost his. It hadn't register, until this precise moment, that they would _have_ to work together the _whole_ year, thus there was no time for seeking excuses. Lily knew that James would never apologize –he would certainly die before it. So, she'd have to do it first. Obviously, it enraged her. It was _his_ fault too! Not just hers! His too!

She was sitting in their table, playing with her hands and feet. The worst part of it was that Potter was in all but one of her classes. It was amazing, how destiny seemed to want Lily to kill the boy so she wouldn't have to see him. People were finally arriving. That was the thing about always being early; you have to wait a little longer. Today however, it meant she was getting more and more nervous by each passing second. God helped her. She opened her notebook, just so it seemed like she was doing something when he saw her.

He, on the other hand, had no intentions of reaching class on time. He was usually never too late –one of the many advantages of knowing every secret passage the castle had. He followed a simple motto 'You're never late. Everyone else is early'. Today however, was different. He was certainly not avoiding Lily Evans. Why would he? He just didn't want to quarrel with her. To be totally honest, he wasn't in the mood for discussing how much of an idiot he was. He had just received another letter from home. It seemed like he would need to go before planned. Still, he didn't know if he could bear it. The looks, the atmosphere, the silence…the cries. It was just all too much. He barely considered skipping class, but then maybe Evans would suspect it was because of her. He was past caring though, and probably having him occupy in something would be better than torturing himself somewhere else.

So slowly, James Potter made his way to potions, not really sure what he was thinking. He knew for certain Lily would be all 'I'm-right-you're-not' with him. Damn, she really was the most self-righteous person he had the unpleasant surprise to have met. James sighted. He knew it would take nowhere for both of them to be too proud to ask for an apology and she _certainly_ wouldn't apologize, so it had to be him. He made his way to the dungeons, and he couldn't help but gulp in surprise as he locked eyes with the pretty red head. She really was pretty, was his first thought. She looked down, and with a sigh he proceeded to sit next to her.

Uncomfortable minute silence.

"So" They said at the same time.

They looked at each other with curiosity, what had just happened? She wondered what he was going to say, he was amazed she had decided to start her lecture with a 'so'. They each waited that awkward period when you're suppose to say 'No, you go first, no…really, you go first'. She was about to break the silence, but he got it out first.

"Lily, I'm sorry. I really am. I didn't think—I wasn't really thinking, I shouldn't have snapped at you like that."

Lily Evans could've sworn she heard James Potter apologize to her. It couldn't be. Surely, it was just her imagination. Surely, she'd heard wrong because the James Potter she knew would _never_ apologize for yesterday's fight. Hell, the James Potter she knew would probably blame it all on her. With that thought, a weird feeling started to stir in Lily's stomach. It felt very much like…gilt.

Gilt over letting James take the blame for everything, because as much as Lily hated to admit it, she did lose her temper rather quickly and completely over looked James's observations. Gilt over thinking that James Potter was incapable of asking for forgiveness.

"No, it was my fault too… I shouldn't have yelled at you like that and you were right… it did improve the potion"

"You mind trying for a fresh start?" he asked

Lily let a small laugh escape her lips. A fresh start, her and Potter? It wasn't likely to work. If she declined, however, it would look like if she was the one who didn't put any effort into working as a pair.

"My name is Lily" she said without thinking, she blushed because it was sort of lame.

"I'm James" he answered with a smile.

They shook their hands and laughed a little. Fortunately the assignment wasn't that difficult, just work on an antidote. It was easier though, the atmosphere was less of a problem now. Actually, James could be quite charming when he wanted to. And funny. Like, not only 'I'm-making-fun-of-everyone-that-isn't-a-marauder' funny, but actually smart-jokes funny.

Who would have thought really, Lily Evans _was_ able to laugh at some of James Potter's jokes. After years and years of trying to get her to at least crack a smile at him, he had done it when he least expected it. She laughed beautifully, throwing her head slightly backwards and occasionally closing her eyes. She was quite funny too, actually. Cute funny. It wasn't so bad working with her.

"Who'd guess? Lily Evans laughing at James Potter's jokes" he said in fake disbelief

"Ha-ha" she shook her head "The same person who'd guess that you could be funny without mocking someone else"

He made a face "That's so last year Evans…"

She tried to suppress a smile, but only ended up laughing.

"See there? I did it again"

"Would you want a round of applause?" she asked

"That would be lovely, thank you"

This time both of them laughed. For the sake of their grades, they kept working on the antidote, but they were both left wanting to continue. After 10 minutes of writing and researching, Lily dropped her quill.

"A pity really, that we didn't have Defense against the dark arts yesterday"

He nodded slowly "With a bit of luck, Dumbledore will present the new teacher today. Though, with the record of things-gone-bad that subject has, I would think twice before teaching"

"You don't believe the subject is cursed, do you?"

"I don't know. Maybe. You know how people always said that Voldemort cursed it."

Lily's eyes widened and James thought about what he'd said. He guessed Lily didn't like using Voldemort's name, but James refused to call him You-Know-Who. It was stupid, thinking his name was a taboo. Somehow, James had thought –give it for a fact, actually- that Lily's mind worked the same way.

"I'm sorry if my saying his name made you uncomfortable"

Lily shook her head "It's not it. I just—now, with all the attacks and everything, it's weird to find someone that says the name Voldemort aloud. It's a good surprise" They both smiled at each other.

Three tables behind them, a pale skinned boy with dark hair was looking at them, horror in his black eyes. His hands began to sweat, and he was pretty certain his arms were trembling a little bit. Had she forgotten that once the boy whom she was merrily laughing with was her five-year best friend's tormentor? He felt a deep pit in the stomach. Had she forgotten about Severus? Pain. That's what he felt whenever he saw her. Pain because no matter what, Lily wouldn't be able to forget what he said. Pain because he regretted it more than anything. Pain because he felt so alone, so lost. It was all he had left. Pain.

(***)

"But what do _you_ think?" the fifteen year old redhead asked the boy who was walking next to her.

It was mid January, and as such, it was freezing. Still, they had taken a walk by the lake. She was wearing a red scarf that almost matched her hair and a black coat. The wind made her hair look like fire, the movement giving it life. He loved to be this way. Alone with her, that is. Now days, they didn't seem to have time to talk properly. He looked at her, his black eyes meeting her emerald green ones. She had looked so pretty right then, right there. Her face was as white as the snow, a lot more than usual because of the freezing weather and her lips were bright pink.

"What do I think about what?" he asked

She crossed her arms and her eyebrows shot up "How about, what I've been talking to you for the last 7 minutes?"

"I don't really have a clear opinion about it" he answered

"But you _must_ have something to say about it"

Severus sighed; there wasn't an easy way out when dealing with Lily Evans was there?

"I think that we shouldn't give him a reason to get angry. However, I'm not in favor of registering every muggle-born. It's way too dangerous. Happy?"

She was "What do you mean by 'dangerous'?"

"Well, when he comes to power, getting rid of muggle-borns would be so much easier"

Lily stopped walking "_If_ he comes to power, that is"

"_Lily_" he looked at her pleading "Not now"

Her expression was solemn; her eyes hard as stone.

"Yes now, Severus"

"I'm only saying so because there is a big chance he does"

Lily swallowed "You want him to, don't you?"

"_No._" He didn't mean it though. He loved his ideas, the way it would all change and in a way, it would give Severus more importance. He will finally be considered better than a lot of people. The only thing he didn't like was that Lily, as a muggle born, would be included in those people. Lily knew; she knew that as much as Severus cared for her, his hunger for power would always be there, waiting for him to take the chance.

Barely perceptible Lily whispered "I know you do"

Severus, he had learned, was rather good at ignoring the things he didn't want to remember.

(****)

"I'm serious Leigh"

"So am I"

Emmeline Vance may only be somewhere around five feet, but she definitely could scare even the worst of the Death Eaters. Her big eyes never leaving Leigh's; with such fire he was almost lost in them, a complete stranger to their discussion.

"She was _so_ flirting with you" Emmeline's pompous lips were pressed together tightly, like if she was trying really hard not to spat at him.

"Em, she wasn't" Leigh assured her, though he wasn't completely sure if this was entirely true.

His day had passed without too much fuzz. He was leaving potions, and Slughorn had just given them a long essay about why Unicorn blood, although good for healing should not be sold. He was wondering if he'd even have the time to go and talk to Hagrid about it, when a third year Ravenclaw appeared in front of him. Her name was Denise Smith. He had never talked to her in his life, just seen her couple of times in the common room. She asked him when the Quidditch tryouts would take place. Of course, as captain of the Ravenclaw team, he had to answer this question (and a million more) all the time. The Hogwarts population craved for the Quidditch matches to start, and young students were usually the keenest to try their abilities and made the team—or fail miserably. She did laugh a lot (though Leigh wasn't trying to be funny—and he was quite sure there wasn't anything to really laugh about) and played with her hair. Okay, so maybe she _did_ flirt with Leigh, but he certainly didn't flirt back. It could all have just stay in a little chit chat, but of course Emmeline had to take the long way to the Great Hall. The brunette's face was so controlled he naively thought she wasn't going to be mad. He was wrong. She took Leigh's hand and, without acknowledging the young Ravenclaw, guided him towards another corridor.

"How can you be so blind?" Her tone was full of anger, and her eyes had never looked at him so defiantly.

"Emmeline" He said, his voice calm and although he wouldn't admit it, a little scared too "She just wanted to know when the quidditch tryouts would start"

"Look" She took a long breath before continuing "I trust you. Otherwise, I wouldn't be with you…but I don't trust the other girls. I don't trust they're going to respect the fact that we are together, and they're going to flirt with you non-stop until you at least notice them. I know you're not going to cheat on me, but what I've been meaning to tell you for a while is…"

God she was going to break up with him. The truth of the matter, even his best friends had once hinted that his girlfriend could very well one day change her mind about him. He didn't want to break up with Emmeline. She had a great sense of humor, she was kind, and smart… it was all a bloke could ask and more.

"What I've been meaning to tell you is that I want us to be a public couple"

It definitely surprised Leigh.

"Emmeline… we kind of are public" He wasn't sure what it was that she meant, but their relationship certainly was no secret.

"But nobody knows I'm your girlfriend, and nobody knows you are my boyfriend" Emmeline pulled one brown lock behind her ear, and waited for a response.

He was struck with surprise. He hadn't addressed Emmeline as her girlfriend, but not because he hadn't wanted to, it was because he hadn't wanted her to feel pressure.

"People see us together all the time" was his only answer.

"But they think you're just my monthly fling and they think I'm a girl you are going to ditch when you get bored" Leigh opened his mouth to protest but Emmeline beat him "Which I OBVIOUSLY know it's not true, but as long as we don't formalize _this_ people are not going to think that we are not a serious couple and they're not going to treat us like a serious couple"

It was true, and they both knew it. Emmeline had a reputation for being…quick (?) when choosing her boyfriends and Leigh just about the same with his girlfriends. What her friends didn't understand, and she suspected his friends didn't either, was that their relationship _was_ indeed different. She didn't felt like he was with her just to kill the time—she knew he felt the same weird connection she felt with him. He certainly wasn't like her other boyfriends. All the girls had expected Leigh to be a spoiled son of a bitch, and he was everything but that. She didn't blame them of course, it was her taste for bad boys that brought them to those conclusions.

"We are a serious couple" he said firmly "And tomorrow, I'll introduce you to every single person as my girlfriend, if that's what you want"

"That's exactly what I want"

She then stand in the tip of her toes and threw her arms around his neck. He embraced her by the waist and they both smiled as he leaned to kiss her.

(*****)

"Helena Burke is definitely the most amazing woman ever" said Lily Evans, as she walked with Marlene Wilson towards the school's library.

It was around 7 pm, and Lily was as excited as one could be. She'd wanted to get every bit of information she could gather about Helena Burke since she finished "The Perks of Independence", but had been very busy almost since school started. She had also promised Marlene they'd have a private talk, since Marlene preferred talking about certain topics with her best friend only. Since Lily simply _had_ to go to the library, the blonde had agreed to help her search for information. As they reached their destination, Lily's smile couldn't get any bigger.

"We've better start searching"

And they did. There were 2 poems and 3 short stories written by her. Marlene had the idea that they could search where they kept some of the old student's works and essays. It turned out Helena Burke attended Hogwarts, sorted in Gryffindor apparently. However, the information they could find about her was pretty limited. She wasn't a highly known author, and her personal information only covered Hogwarts' matters.

"Maybe she went to live somewhere else after Hogwarts" suggested Marlene.

"Maybe" said Lily. They were searching for over an hour, and they had not found anything other than the 5 short pieces of work, and a student's essay that probably belonged to her.

"Lily? I think I found something"

She did. There was a picture, somewhere along the piles of documents. Lily recognize the room, it was the Great Hall. The girl had long black hair, and beautiful grey eyes. She was laughing, and she had dimple in her right cheek. By her side, there was a tall boy, with a childlike smile, sandy hair and hazel eyes. He was laughing too. There was an annotation in the margin.

Helena Burke

Head Girl – Class of 1938

Lily smiled, and looked at the other annotation.

Oliver Potter

Head Boy – Class of 1938

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong> Hope you liked it! Please please please review if you're liking it or sort of liking it or yeah, anything of that sort. Thank you so much to QueenOfTheEyesores , May B. xD, PixieDust319 and Fleur! I wont take that long to update again, scout promise.

Love,

Ferris


	4. Chapter 4: Personal Relationships

**DISCLAIMER: **As much as I would like, I don't own HP, everything goes to the beautiful JK Rowling

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 4<strong>

"**Personal Relationships" **

"So, do you think James knows her?"

Lily stared at Marlene for a second. It honestly hadn't crossed her mind. They were sitting in the Great Hall, having dinner and waiting for the other girls to come down. After they'd found the picture, Lily had entered a state of shock. She didn't know whether it was because he had seen a photograph of Helena Burke, and realize she was indeed real and human, or if she had been way too surprised by the sudden appearance of Oliver Potter.

"I don't know. I mean, they shared duties and all but what are the chances that they kept contact after Hogwarts? Or in any case, that he'd had the chance to introduce his son?"

"Remember their last names, Lily," Marlene said. "The Burke line is very old, it's one of the purest families of England, just as the Potters. Chances are, they'd met before in some gala or they had some contact after the years because of their jobs."

"What does their jobs have to do with anything? Maybe the Potter guy was an auror or something, definitely nothing to do with a writer"

Marlene rolled her eyes, like if she was talking to a child.

"Being a Head boy or Head girl opens a ton of job opportunities, and I'm talking about the Ministry here… not the kind of jobs you're likely to pass on, are you?"

She was right, of course, but Helena Burke didn't strike Lily as someone who'd work at the Ministry.

"I don't think Helena worked at the Ministry. She criticize it way too much to ever be part of it."

Marlene looked at Lily, a concern look in her eyes.

"Lily, you haven't actually met the woman. Times change. Some opportunities are just too good to pass. Besides, The Perks of Independence was wrote somewhere between 1940 and 1941. She was just 20 or 21 at the most. She was way too young to have a clear opinion on what her life would be."

Lily knew it was true, but somehow she just knew Helena Burke would never _ever_ work somewhere as corrupt as the Ministry. She definitely had a rebel's soul, going against her family's wishes and all. For everything Lily could gather about her, she'd guess the only job that would be suitable for her was a writer. She once read an article about James' dad. He was some important bloke at the Ministry, auror department or mystery department. Lily guessed he belong to the auror department, as James was positively a hundred percent sure that was his future and he had always admire his dad and all.

"I just have a hunch Mar, I know the woman worked somewhere else."

Marlene was about to say something else, but Emmeline, Dorcas and Mary approached their table first.

"Did you know Melanie Diggory swims?" asked Emmeline as she sat

Everyone looked at her.

"No. And why do you?" Dorcas arched an eyebrow at her.

"She was talking to Leigh… I'm not jealous," she clarified. "I was just curious as to what they were talking about. He said she was telling him how good sport swimming is, not to mention 'not that hard' and he thought it would be a great way of practicing for his team."

"Come to think about it, swimming _is_ a good practice… maybe we should suggest it to Potter" said Dorcas

Emmeline threw her a dirty look. She started playing with her fingers, the way she always did when she was nervous.

"So the problem is…?" asked Mary

"None" Emmeline said quickly "Who is she, anyway?"

"Gryffindor, 5th year if I remember correctly. She's a new prefect, maybe that's why she knew Leigh," Lily remembered.

Emmeline let out a sight. Of course, that's where they had met. This was such a new feeling to Emmeline, being a little jealous all the sodding time. Although she wasn't particularly jealous of Melanie Diggory. The fifth year student by herself was rather pretty, yes, but rather shy and very un-Leigh-ish. She looked a little like herself, now that she thought about it. They both had long wavy hair, they were both slim. They had a similar smile and laugh but that was about it. Melanie was taller than Emmeline and had blonde hair.

Dorcas meanwhile played around with her fork. Her mind was anywhere but in the conversation, but Mary's voice brought her back to reality.

"So what were you guys talking about before we came in?" she asked

Marlene looked at Lily, as the redhead did the same. They were both a little unsure as to what to answer.

"We were discussing… the possible chances of having an auror as—as Defense teacher" Lily answered

"Well that would be ideal, wouldn't it?"

"I've heard the new defense teacher is expected for later tonight or tomorrow in the early morning, probably Dumbledore will make an announcement before breakfast" said Mary

"Any idea who he is?" asked Marlene

"Nope. Although I do hope he knows a little more than the one from last year. Professor Smith could barely remember how to do a vanishing spell" said Dorcas.

The girls all laughed. Marlene was a little uneasy though, she wasn't really sure why Lily wouldn't share her discover with the girls, but as the redhead stood up and packed her belongings, she guessed it wouldn't be long until the two of them were alone.

"Marlene and I have this… this _thing_ we just need to take care of. It's nothing really important."

"Then tell us what's it about" Emmeline eyes shined with curiosity

Lily smiled at her and turned around whispering "You'll know soon enough"

(**)

"Okay, so why didn't you want to tell the girls?" asked Marlene as she was dragged to one of the corridors by her best friend.

"Not you too" pleaded Lily "It's stupid, really"

"Lily" Marlene's eyes were fixed on her "I'm not stupid."

"Can we please, _please_ keep it a secret until further notice?"

"Fine" was Marlene's only response. "I found something last night, by the way. I forgot to tell you"

Lily's eyes sparkled "About Helena?"

"About Gregory Burke, that's Helena's father."

"What about him?"

Marlene sat on a bench and took a piece of parchment of her robe. It was an old newspaper article, "'_28 of December 1935; Prestige Politician Gregory Burke was arrested last night for apparently murdering 5 muggles, 2 of them being children under the age of 7. Burke, 38, claims to have been home for the night, except there are no sources that can corroborate. His wife Frances Bertrand, daughter of former Head of French Auror Department Antoine Bertrand, and Helena Burke ,the only daughter of the marriage, reside in Brookshire after the couple formally announced their separation in June of last year'" _

They were both quite for a minute.

"Wow" Lily finally let out.

It was a lot to process. Lily would never ceased to be shocked by this types of cases. In the magical world, it was fairly common to hear those stories full of violence and blood. In the muggle world, to many people all those things usually were only real through a newspaper's article. She had been lucky not to experience violence so closely, but now when it was so near her…

"Her family was indeed messed up" she concluded.

"Most pureblood families are," Marlene stated.

Thank God I'm a muggle born then, Lily thought, "She must've suffer a lot when she was younger"

"Oh no, Lily" Marlene shook her head "I didn't told you this so you could start empathizing with her and tormenting your mind in ways in which she could've been unhappy. I just told you because I found it and you are ever so happy when you find something that Helena did, or that belong to her."

"Don't worry about it." Lily reassured her "I'm just shocked. We better get back to the dormitories."

Marlene looked at her clock, then frown.

"I've got to tutor Jennifer Hill, that Hufflepuf third year that asked me to help her in muggle studies." She look as happy to go as she would've been to eat cockroaches. "Wish me luck"

And with that she was gone.

Lily continued her way through the castle's corridors, wondering about Helena Burke's life. Thinking in which ways was Lily's life easier. Now days protocol and the ton weren't things that most people consider before acting, not in the muggle world at least. In the magical world however, a lot of the lost traditions were being kept. Old families knew each other and behaved the way old English nobles did; holding balls and masquerades, worrying about who their children married… some even making wedding arrangements. It was all a little too much for Lily.

Her mind turned blank at the sight of two standing figures at the end of the hallway. At first glance, she didn't recognize them. Only after one of them spoke, did she finally realize who they were. It made her shiver. She'd imagine this scene in a nightmare, a while ago now.

Only one had his wand. The other man had been disarmed, his wand a few steps from Lily. As she approached them, Lily was able to see the picture clearly. One of them was pointing his wand directly into the other's chest, his heart to be precise. The aggressor's hand shook slightly, almost imperceptible in the dim light of the hallway. The other man had a defiant look, and his hazel eyes never left the aggressor's.

"You will not get away with this" Severus Snape hissed.

Lily gasped, and both men turned to see her. Severus Snape's eyes widen in pure terror at the sight of her once best friend and he instantly lowered his wand. He opened his mouth as if he had wanted to say something, but at the last moment he closed it, turned away and left. Lily couldn't move, couldn't talk. She just looked at James Oliver Potter, right into his eyes, and then he noticed him. _Really_ noticed him, for the first time since they were both on the train that 1 of September of 1971.

His almond shaped hazel eyes seemed gentle, but at the same time hungry. They seemed to look Lily in every way, in every sense. Right there and then, she felt like his stare was looking right through her, into her mind, into her very soul. She couldn't think, loosing herself in his eyes.

"James" she whispered.

"It wasn't…I didn't start it, if that's what you think" he said looking away from her.

Curiously enough, she hadn't thought about the reasons of the fight. Nor had she wonder who had initiated it. All se really cared about (and all she thought was important, really) was that it was over and they weren't hurting each other. His tone of voice took her by surprise though; it was a little defensive, like if he was expecting her to spat at him and punch him. Had she really been that mean to him? At least mean enough to let him think that of you, a part of her said. It was probably right. She and Potter hadn't really been the best of friends and although he had been a toe rag, she hadn't been a piece of cake either.

"I wasn't blaming you"

"Well, that's new" He turned away as if he was about to leave. Quite instinctively, she pulled him from the arm. She stare into his hazel eyes and she saw him. Like, really saw him.

She could remember about a trillion times were she had looked at James Potter, but all those times she hadn't looked at his features. Not closely and appreciatively, anyway. Every time someone remarked in James's good looks, Lily would've sworn they were delusional. Truthfully, he could've been a Greek god and still she would've found him disgusting. Right there, in the dim light of a school corridor, she understood what everybody saw in James Potter. Physically anyway.

His features were quite strong, with a prominent jaw line and high cheekbones. Maybe strong wasn't the right word…it would be better to call it _manly_. For, after all, that was what described James Potter in just one word. Lily highly doubted James used cologne, but _his scent_ for Christ sake! He was mere inches away from her, and she could see the fire in his eyes burning, moving, warming everything around them. Finally, the muscles around his jaw and eyes relaxed.

She let out a small laugh, "Have I really been that horrible to you, Potter? Or is it just you exaggerating?"

"Have I _really_ been that insufferable, Evans? Or is it just you exaggerating?" He arched an eyebrow.

Lily looked down and heat slowly reached her cheeks. "That answers my question then," she replied.

"You do realize we are talking" He said after a moment

"Well, yes"

"Not fighting"

They were actually kind of flirting, Lily realized alarmingly. But if they were, James didn't seem to notice. Not in even a little bit. Not even at all, judging by the looks of it. It was a relieving thought.

"Well Evans, as much as a pleasure this has been, I must keep going. See you around" He grinned and winked at her and then, with a swift turn of heels, he headed down the corridor.

Lily had a horrible sense of déjà vu and just like that, images were flashing before her eyes.

(***)

"Evans?"

James could actually hear the sobs of the redhead, but her body was nowhere to be found. Until he saw her, kneeling by the door, with swollen eyes and trembling lips. Her beautiful emerald green eyes were filled with pain and sour, so much that James himself felt a terrible pit in the stomach.

"Lily…" he began "I'm sorry—"

She looked at him, puzzled. He stopped speaking, and for the first time in his life, James Potter was lost for words. Lily walked towards him, delicately, almost ghostly, green eyes burning with something he couldn't decipher. Then she did the last thing he expected her to do. She kissed him.

He shivered as her small hands reached his messy hair and pulled him down towards her. The next thing he realized, they were both kissing each other fervently, his hands pulling her from the waist to be even closer. She could've stayed like this a long time, kissing James Potter passionately, filling her mouth with the taste of his. All too soon he pulled away, and looked at her directly in the eyes.

All the embarrassment she had not felt when she smashed her mouth to his was now appearing, and she could feel her cheeks glowing red. He looked confused, not knowing what to do. Not knowing what she thought or what did she want him to do.

Run. That's what she ought to do. Run. So she did, as fast as her legs would take her.

(****)

It had not matter to him, what happened at the end of fifth year, he told himself. He shouldn't care. Hell, he _knew_ she didn't care so why should he? They had kissed. Big deal. He had kissed plenty of other girls, and she must have kissed other boys too. It didn't _bother_ him. He could've stand it if they had kissed and she had thought it was wrong. He could've even understand it. What he could not – and would not- stand was the fact that she decided to ignore what had happened. Not an explanation, not a single word even. He had _tried_ to be good to her this year. He really had. But just now he was starting to realize he was somehow a little angry with her. When they had both felt silent in their short talk, he had had the urge to kiss her. To kiss her and then ran away like she had, not mentioning it afterwards.

He had taken a walk around the castle's gardens for what seemed like hours, until he realized it was probably really late. He reached the dorms within five minutes, thanks to his knowledge of every possible secret corridor. Sirius was sprawled all over his bed, playing with one of James's snitches. Remus was reading calmly and Peter was writing silently. They were all a little too silent to be normal.

"What's going on?" James asked

"What do you mean 'what's going on?'?" Sirius questioned him back

"Why are you so silent?"

"For your information mate, we _can_ be silent at times—"

"C'mon" James pressed.

Remus looked up. He looked guilty.

"We have been friends for over six years and you _still_ don't know that you can't make Moony keep a secret?"

Remus's mouth fell opened "I don't know what—"

"Moony, I told you _not_ to look at him directly for at least a day—" Sirius started

"Save it. What is it?" James asked again

"Well… we _might_ have found out you fought with Snape" Remus stumbled

"And we might have had something to do with the fact he will not be able to sit properly for at least three days" said Peter, somehow innocently.

James stared at them with disbelief, and Sirius gave him an inquiring look.

"Why are you so upset?"

"Why am I—Why do you think I'm upset? She's going to blame it all on me, no doubt about that" he cursed under his breath.

It was so obvious what would happen next. Evans surely would think _he_ had the idea of attacking Snape and worst so, he sent his best friends into doing the dirty work. Which couldn't be further away from the truth. He was still angry enough with Snape to be glad he was hurting in some way or another, which normally wouldn't have been the case. Under normal circumstances, James would not have been happy he was hurt, but hell, right now he could barely stand the very thought of him.

"She?" asked Peter

"Evans" Sirius said in a plain voice.

James turned his head and glared at his best friend. His hazel eyes burned into Sirius's grey ones. James had no desire what so ever to feel as if he was guilty of something he was _not_.

"You" he said while looking at all three of them "are going to fix this. HOW, I've no idea"

"You want us to go up to Evans and say 'Hey, if you were wondering, James _didn't_ kicked Snevillus ass, although he sure as hell deserved it'?" Sirius let a mocking laugh "Because that just wouldn't be weird at all"

James was about to punch his best mate on the face.

"I'm sure Lily will not jump into conclusions" Remus intervened

An overwhelming desire to laugh caught James in the throat. Lily Evans? Not judging?

"Then it just wouldn't be her, Moony"

(*****)

"Of course I've missed you, you idiot!" Lily Evans hugged Henry Bertrand so tight his lungs were about to explode.

"Ma petite fleur" He said with a charming smile

"You're _such_ a flirt, Henry" She gave him a mocking disapproving smile.

Henry Bertrand was a Gryffindor seven year, and one of Lily Evans oldest and dearest friend. They became friends somewhere between second and third year, when Dorcas started dating Nicholas Kegg, which was one of Henry's childhood best friends, along with Edgar Bones and Frank Longbottom. The girls started to hang out more and more with the boys, even after Dorcas and Nicholas ended their relationship (which lasted about two months—though it was a record, for a second and third year that is). Henry soon became Lily's male best friend, only bested by Severus Snape. She hadn't been able to meet him all summer, as he was vacationing with his family in France. Being both prefects, they had after hour permissions to stay up a little bit latter than the rest.

Henry had gentle hazel eyes and curly black hair. He wore a childlike expression most of the time, which earn him the nickname "Baby Face" by the marauders – he never seemed to mind.

"How was summer?" He asked

"Not as exciting as yours, I suspect. How was France?"

"Oh, you know… a little bit of this and a little bit of that, but nothing as exciting as Britain, that's for sure"

"Not even French ladies?" She gave him a mischievous smile.

Lily loved to mock Henry for his "reputation" as a womanizer—kind of. Truth be told, his fame was mostly due to the fact his older brother, Pierre, had been one of Hogwarts most notorious bachelors in his day. Henry didn't really appreciate everybody and their dog thinking he was a rogue, which was somehow a weird concept, as so many males craved that sort of reputation. He had only had one 'formal' girlfriend, which had happened to be Emmeline.

"As a matter of fact, I met a very nice girl"

"You did?"

"You sound surprised! Should I be offended?"

"Not at all"

Now she _did_ want details. Emmeline and Henry's relationship had lasted quite a long time… a year perhaps. They had ended things only in February of this year, and Emmeline hadn't taken long to recover. Henry hadn't seemed too depressed either. Lily had always suspected that there was a bit more to their break up than just 'wanting different things'.

He grinned at her "Her name is Isabella. Gryffindor. 4th year, although quite mature for her age"

"You met her in France?"

"Yes, technically. We met on our way back home and… well, I wanted to chat her up, and it turns out _she_ was the one that chat me up" Lily rolled her eyes. She noticed he had his advanced Defense Against the Dark Arts textbook.

"Have you met the new defense teacher?"

"Oh, you mean Mr. Pendragon? Yeah, had class with him earlier. Cool guy. Eccentric"

"Aren't all Dumbledore's picks like that?"

"True enough"

They continue walking towards nowhere in particular, when suddenly Lily remembered she needed to talk to Madame Pomfrey for a piece of bandage for Pin, Lily's cat, who had hurt himself hunting God-knew-what animal. She gave Henry a goodbye hug and hurry herself to the Hospital Wing.

It was a strange day, that day. She had discover new things about Helena Burke, he had seen Severus and Potter fight, she had seen Henry after 2 months, yet she wasn't (and why should she, anyway) not in the least, prepared for the sight of a clearly attacked Severus Snape. He didn't say a word, but he didn't have to. He was sitting in one of the beds, a black eye and a broken lip painting his face.

Severus's black eyes were filled with anger, although she knew it wasn't directed to her, she was not even sure he had noticed her. Anger so strong, it was almost passionate, almost motivational. It made her spine shiver and her blood turned ice. She turned away without saying a word. Only one person could create such a strong emotional response in Severus Snape

(*******)

"I can't believe you would do something like that, Potter"

It was somewhere around 11:30 pm, and James had been sitting in the common room, almost expecting this to happen.

"Do what exactly, Evans?"

"Oh you know what I'm talking about" She said slamming the door. A small part of her brain, the one that was still thinking, told her to lower her voice—that she might wake someone up. Another part of her though, the one that was angry with James Potter, urged her to punch him. She was standing in front of him now, locks of red hair falling down her face.

"If you'd care to be more explicit"

Lily stared at him in disbelief.

"You know I really did believe you when you said you hadn't started it. How I was so stupid, I don't have the faintest idea. You should be ashamed of yourself"

Without missing a beat, James stood up and glared at her. Lily couldn't help but shrink a little bit. James's hazel eyes were burning. More than that, they were fixed on Lily's own eyes with fury. However, the rest of his face was a total different story. He didn't have any sort of facial indication he was angry. His expression was…cold. It was almost frightening.

He stepped forward "I know it's not really something you usually do, but before you want to judge someone, you should get your facts straight. I didn't touch Snape. I haven't seen him since you saw us nor do I posses some stupid desire of revenge but even if I did… I think you and I both know he's capable of defending himself" He was closer now and leaning in. For a brief second, she hesitated and though that maybe, just maybe, he was going to kiss her. However he didn't search for her mouth, she discovered as he leaned into her ear. "And before you think I'm a coward, I shall remind you it has never been in me to run from situations I don't like"

Lily looked at him as the memories of that night filled her inside.

"Goodnight, Evans" He said turning away from her.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: <strong>So yeah, there's that. I hope you guys like it! It's been a while since I last posted Ch 3, BUT! Chapter 5 is already half done sooooo, I will do my best to upload it within two weeks – #Wishingmyselfluck.

**Review if you like it, hate it, adore it or have any form of emotion towards it :**F (Although I would love you for eternity if they were positive :B )

**Expect a lot more Jily on Chapters 5 and 6 :**B


	5. Chapter 5: Magic is a Warm Gun

**Chapter 5**

"**Magic is a warm gun" **

Lily and the girls had all gone down for breakfast.

It was Monday. And they started with Defense against the Dark Arts. Under normal circumstances, it wouldn't be a problem. Not at all actually, Lily quite enjoyed the classes. However, she hated any class with James Oliver Potter at the present moment and because she had every sodding class, except God bless Ancient Runes, Lily pretty much hated school right now. She hadn't even spoken to Severus either. It was all so ridiculous really. She was mad at Potter because of something he had done to Severus—although he claims he didn't—and she was not even speaking to Severus (nor did she plan to). Part of her knew it was reasonable. After all, Severus Snape had been her best friends for the good part of 8 years and some sort of loyalty HAD to remain (right?). However, another part of her told her that Potter hadn't done it because… well, for instance he'd probably boast about it rather than deny it. She had jumped to conclusions. But Lily Evans's pride was almost as legendary as her strong character. So yeah, there was that.

Maybe if he hadn't made a reference to what happened at the end of fifth year—maybe she wouldn't turn bright red at the mention of his name. She hadn't expected him to ever refer to that night. Ever again, that is. Hell, she knew SHE acted as if it had not happened. She knew deep down it had been unfair to James, sort of. She knew, or had thought at least, that he would welcome the kiss. It was so embarrassing, he had all but told her no.

"So, Leigh told me that Pendragon was okay" Emmeline started, breaking Lily out of her reverie "And he looks nice. I must say, I'm so grateful, after all the parade of clowns that have cross that position"

Mary, who was sitting next to her, turned her head "Don't say that. Ms. Harris was quite nice"

"The woman was nuts"

"She was a genius!"

"If you can call someone who almost set the whole Gryffindor tower on fire genius…"

Mary smiled anyway "Well, some of the best minds have been call nuts by their contemporaries. Look at Dumbledore. Some say he's brilliant. Some say he has lost it ages ago"

"Don't compare Dumbledore to Ms. Harris while I'm within earshot" intervened Dorcas

"Whatever" Emmeline said to finalize the argument "Time to keep going anyway. Let's see how much of a genius he is"

(*)

Richard Pendragon was not a conventional wizard. You could tell just by the looks of him. He had that mad scientist look, with his messy brown hair and electric blue eyes that would never quite looked at you, it was more as they look through you. Not in the deep-and-soul kind of look through you. More as in I-have-x-ray-powers kind of look through you. At any rate, he seemed fine. Freaky, but fine.

"Good morning" he started "As many of you will know, my name is Richard Pendragon and as stupid as I think it is to make this remark, I'll be your defense teacher this year"

The whole class cracked a smile.

"Well now, if there's something you should know about my way of working, is that I don't believe in textbooks. Nor do I use them in class. Perhaps they will serve a purpose when studying or doing an assignment, but take my word I will never ask you to take them out in lessons. In my humble opinion, the best way of learning is by acting. So! Do any of you know how to perform a nonverbal spell?"

At first, no one spoke. After a minute or so, James's hand rose.

"Very well Mr.-um…"

"Potter. James Potter"

"Can you perform any kind of nonverbal spell?"

A wide smirk crossed the face of Sirius, Remus and Peter. James's face remained untouched.

"As a matter of fact, I can"

Lily could not help but arched an eyebrow at his statement. Non-verbal spells were not easy. Far from it. A wizard could perform it when he or she was young unconsciously, sure. Back then, Lily could even try to do it on her free will.

She remembered it quite clearly, in all honesty. She had been around 7 and it had been her cousin Fiona's 3rd birthday. Her aunt Cristal had decided to do a family gathering. It was all nice and calm for a little while. Her aunt, a smiley 40 year old brunette, had always loved flowers (almost as much as Lily's mother) and so her daughter's birthday party was decorated everywhere by floral arrangements. It had been beautiful. Lily found one particularly pretty, one that had been displayed at the center of the table. There had been little flowers the color of Lily's cheeks when she blushed. She remember wishing they were bigger and suddenly, the little flowers where the size of a plate. Aunt Cristal had been very happy, seeing it as a gardening miracle and praising herself in her abilities. Lily had not understand how she'd been able to do it until much later when a pale, dark haired boy told her so.

James rose from his seat and pointed his wand towards a pile of parchments that were laying on Mr. Pendragon's desk. The first parchment moved only a little bit at first, just as if the wind had blown in that direction. Then, one by one, each parchment started floating above the student's heads. They moved all around. Professor Pendragon was wonderstruck with the thought that one of his students could perform such level of high skilled magic without receiving classes. Potter, Lily thought, no doubt would boast about it for the next five years.

The demonstration resume and James sat down. Professor Pendragon then proceeded to talk a bit about himself. He said he had been born in France but consider himself an Englishman nonetheless, as he had in fact attended Hogwarts. Back in his day he was sorted in Ravenclaw, and loved his house dearly although he would never compete in anything other than friendly duels. He then worked for the ministry as an auror for 5 years, after which he decided that teaching was his one true love and ended up in different schools around the globe until he finally landed in his current classroom.

"Which I am extremely thankful for" Professor Pendragon said "And you must be wondering, why the devil will this old fool's stories be useful to the course? Or more so, to us? The answer, my dears? It won't"

He was now standing behind his desk. He opened one cabinet and took out what looked like a quill, only that it was way more colorful than the classic ones. It was decorated with turquoise and green lines. He held it up, so everyone could see.

"This is a quill my father gave to me when he came back from India, in one of his infamous trips to see the world. I was all of 20 years. You see, one day I was bored out of my mind and thought to myself: what can I do to improve the world? Until then, I had worked in the ministry and I did -or so I like to think- a good job at it. But I wanted more. So I go over my things and discover-or rediscover if you will- this beautiful quill. I thought of it as a sign, and so I started travelling all over the world… the very next day, actually. I found out that I loved fighting against dark magic, I loved learning just as much as I loved teaching." He looked down and placed the quill in a shiny box. "Why is this of any use for you? Why? Well, you can look at it from various ways I suppose. The way I see it, you should take it from me that you never know how your life will end. You'll meet many people, many dangers and many choices. Your personality might change over time. If you have something to do right now, do it. If you want to start over, do it. Take every opportunity you have that will lead you to learning more. You don't know if you'll get another chance later on. You're young and have the whole future looking at you, it's true. But the 'now' is here, waiting for you… learn to live in it. Not in the past or in the future"

His blue eyes focused on Lily for a second, and she swore that in that moment, Professor Pendragon knew all about her. Her dreams, fears and insecurities. Everything.

"All of this, will lead you to be better, not bitter. Why do I care? I'm thinking many of you are asking yourselves that question. Truth is, I've always thought that dark magic originates on people's resentment. Or in any case, it feeds on their bitterness. If we learn to control the part of ourselves we sometimes are afraid and ashamed of, we can trust to be better people. Class dismiss."

(***)

"He's a freaking genius, that's what he is" Dorcas said laughing.

The five Gryffindor girls were walking down the stairs. They'd been commenting about Professor Pendragon, as most of the other students had surely done too. His class had been very different from their previous teachers to say the least. Most had been like Julius Cesar, except a totally failed version: They came, they saw and they tried to conquer. Most defense against the dark arts teachers were eccentric (but weren't all wizards and witches like that anyway?); they tried to win the students and try to be THE teacher that broke the curse. Or the said curse anyway. All eventually ended up leaving within a year and most only left funny memories rather than useful advices.

"He was very charming" agreed Mary.

"And he wasn't particularly old, was he? 35 at the most" Emmeline added

Dorcas snorted and gave her an incredulous look.

"Please tell me you were not checking out our DADA teacher"

"I wasn't… too much, anyway" Emmeline winked. "I have to go and check on Leigh, I promise to help him with some stuff before class"

"Over attached girlfriend, that's what I say" Dorcas said, not particularly low.

Emmeline threw her a dirty look and made her way into the castle's gardens.

Lily also stood up, ready to go to the library and do a little more Helena Burke research when her bag fell off. As it did, all of her newspaper articles and Helena stuff was spread all over the floor. The girls then helped her pick up the articles, but truly Lily was somewhat embarrassed. She had developed a sort of obsession with the woman; no doubt her friends will think so too.

Mary suddenly looked into the newspaper Marlene had found about Helena's father. She read the article and hold it out to Lily.

"So, you think they're Henry's family?" she asked

Lily arched an eyebrow "What does Henry has to do with anything?"

"Um… haven't you seen her mother's maiden name? Or well, they seemed to be divorce so just her surname –"

And as Mary said this, Lily scanned the old piece of paper and reread it. Frances Bertrand. Antoine Bertrand. How hadn't she notice before?

"I –I hadn't thought about it. I truly hadn't made the connection. And I have seen Henry just yesterday after we –it doesn't matter, actually. I'll go ask him later."

"Well, you sure have been entertained with the woman" said Dorcas.

Lily hadn't pay any attention to anyone other than Mary, but when she turned she found Dorcas and Marlene staring at her. She blushed slightly.

"I don't know why, to be honest. I think I like the mystery surrounding her. I am quite fond of Sherlock Holmes' adventures"

"Sherlock who?" asked Dorcas.

"Muggle thing" answered Mary.

"Everything is a muggle thing"

(****)

She was almost hysterical because she was running late. Although in all honesty, she wasn't. She was running late to be there early. But Lily Evans was the epitome of punctuality. Her father had always told her that people were likely to remember if you had been late for one meeting but disregard you had been on time for all the other meetings in your lifetime. She had come to the conclusion that it applied to everything; do one thing right, they'll forget, do one thing wrong, they'll remember. Although she was still trying to figure out who 'they' were.

"LILY!" someone down the hall yelled. She walked a little slower as Remus Lupin appeared besides her.

"Hey Remus. Going to the prefect meeting, were you?"

"No. Yes. I mean, I was going to do that but I was hoping I could talk to you before"

"Well, I'm going there too, so what's up?"

He rubbed his hands, the way he always did whenever he was nervous. "There's something that I need to tell you."

"So I've been told. By you. Right now." He was gaping like a gold fish. She laughed. "Relax, Remus! It's just me. Spill it out."

"I'm really sorry! It wasn't my—our intention. It just sort of happened. I know it shouldn't have, hell, we could've been in so much trouble—I'm really sorry Lily I—"

"Remus"

"It wasn't supposed to happen at all but it got out of control and—" He had started to talk really fast and Lily was having trouble catching up.

"REMUS! Stop! You haven't actually told me what you are apologizing about"

He looked lost, like he had forgotten the introductory part. She was curious now, she didn't know what he could have possibly done to feel so guilty.

"James didn't do anything to Snape. It was us. He told us about their fight and Sirius was sort of waiting for a chance to punch Severus and it just felt like destiny to him. It wasn't suppose to be an actual fight, more of a confrontation kind of thing, but you know—"

"Yes, I know" A familiar pressure had built in the pitch of her stomach and had risen up all the way to her mouth. Guilt. She wasn't angry, not at all to her surprise. Maybe it was just the overwhelming guilt she felt towards James Potter that didn't want Remus Lupin feeling the same way. Maybe she didn't care. All she new was that she probably had one apology pending. "Don't worry about it. I'll have to apologize to Potter later. I'm sure he filled you with all the details about how I almost slapped him for beating my—for beating a classmate"

Remus let out a shy laugh and passed a hand through his sandy hair. Marauder thing apparently. "Actually, I heard it. I just—it felt wrong to let James take the blame for this. You know, with your history and everything"

Lily felt her spine shiver and at the same time her hands, feet and cheeks warm up. History? As in what happened? Was there a possibility that he had told Remus? She hadn't told a soul, not even the girls. Could he have told the Marauders? Anxiety was kicking in. She was about to ask him directly what history he was talking about when he stopped walking and signaled the door.

"Thank you, for not being angry." and before she could speak he opened the door and together they greeted the other house prefects.

(*****)

James Potter had woken up that particular day in a really, really bad mood. Nothing seemed to be going his way lately, and though he acted like he couldn't care less, he did care. So no, it wasn't James's idea of fun to be almost force to chit-chat at breakfast with Xaviera Kegg, a Ravenclaw who had been his girlfriend back in third year for all of one month. He was running late, he decided, though he wasn't particularly going anywhere. It was the excuse he used anyway. It wasn't Xaviera, she was a fine looking girl and she was smart and interesting. A tad crazy maybe, but then all the current females in his life seemed to be. He just wanted to be alone and think. Then, OF COURSE, came the second and third years asking none-stop about the Quidditch tryouts although he was sure there was no more information besides the one he personally wrote on a piece of parchment and hanged in the common room for all his beloved house to see. He paced through the hallway and he was almost out, could almost see the green gardens when he saw the last person he wanted to see in the present moment. He stopped and made as if to turn but it was too late. Eye contact had been so brief, he foolishly thought she wouldn't have notice, or that maybe she'd hear the messages he was trying to send the universe and decide that he was not fit company. But of course, no such luck.

"Potter" Lily's voice was cold, and calculated.

"Yes, Evans?" he said through his teeth. He looked at her and was surprised to see she was not looking at him. She was looking at the ground, cheeks slightly red.

"I was… I was thinking maybe we could talk"

"You? Want to talk to me?" he said, amusement showing all over his face.

"Well… yes." She bite her lip before beginning once again "And I was thinking…About the other day and what you said and what happened before and what happened a long time ago." There was an uncomfortable silence where Lily tried to find the right words and James wondered how many times the word 'and' could be use in a sentence "I—" She looked up. " I'm sorry and I guess I should've said this a lot earlier, I should've just addressed the matter but I didn't and I'm doing it right now so… I'm sorry"

James was puzzled. What was she talking about? About how she blamed Snape's beating on James when he had nothing to do with it? About kissing him and running off without so much as a word afterwards? He was not angry about those things, at least not really. It bugged him that she would jump to conclusions when it came to him, and he really had little to no patience when someone yelled at him. It had bothered him that she hadn't said anything about how she kissed him until now. If he was being fair to her, which he wasn't saying he was, he would admit it bothered him because he knew she knew he had had lingering feelings for her. Sort of. Back then, that was. So even if he had tried his damn hardest to avoid it, it had been impossible not to let his hopes up a little bit, and his ego a little bit hurt when nothing happened. Although if he was being REALLY honest here, it hadn't just been his ego that ached.

"What?" It was all that he could muster.

Lily let a shy laugh "You ARE going to make me say it, aren't you?"

"I just don't understand why you would apologize. For either"

Her cheeks were a bright red now. "It was wrong on my part to do… both things. Mainly the thing about Snape."

Well directly or not, Snape had played a part on both occasions, hadn't he? "Red, I'm beginning to wonder if maybe your intention is to make things awkward between us. More awkward, that is."

"It seems you have it perfectly cover, Potter" she spitted. "This is really not coming out as I thought it would. Let me just get this out, okay? I'm sorry for smashing my face into yours and running away. Very un-Gryffindor of me, I know. I was just going through—Yeah well, anyway, and I'm sorry about the things I said back in the common room and for blaming you for Snape's attack. I know it was Sirius idea."

"Did you come to this conclusion on your own?"

"I wish I would have, but no. Remus told me, actually. He felt really bad"

Despite himself, James chuckled. How very Moony of him.

"So what's in for you? Besides not feeling bad, that is" he said after a pause.

Lily's expression went blank. "Does there need to be anything else?"

"If I were any other living creature then no. But alas, I'm me. So I'm figuring its taking a hell of self control for you to stand in front of me and apologize. And trust me, I do believe you have the best of intentions, you are a good girl after all. But I don't know, seems a lot of effort just to make up with someone you hate"

"I don't hate you" she said immediately "Well, sometimes I do. But not right now"

"Good to know" He smiled and looked at his watch. Although it was nice to talk to Lily, very nice indeed, he knew most of the times he could find a way to make Lily angry in surprisingly small time (truthfully the door swing both ways), so he figured it was better to leave when the conversation was civil "Anyway, if there's nothing more I should keep going. Nice talking to you"

"Actually there is something more" she added quickly. She tucked a string of hair behind her ear before she started again. "It's just… I don't usually do that kind of thing. Kissing someone randomly. Completely. I—I'm not prone to kiss and tell, you know and I—well—"

He laughed. "Right. So, all this talk was to keep sure I'd keep my mouth shut?"

"No! I really am sorry. For the other night. And for the other thing too."

"Don't—Don't apologize. It's lame" Her face fell in utter indignation. "And I really am not. Sorry it happened, that is. I had wanted to try that for a long time" She opened her mouth as if to speak but he beat her to it "Don't worry Lily, it's not as if it was a life-changing, earth-shattering kiss. It won't change our relationship, or lack thereof. It was okay, I enjoyed it, you let go of your frustration, we both won. Now can I please go?"

He didn't even gave her time to say something as he turned towards the castle's gardens. It was true—the fact that they had kissed wouldn't change anything. It had not been a romantic kiss, not on the least; in fact, it had been pretty heated if he recall it correctly. No butterflies or fireworks, but it would be a lie to say James's mind hadn't been left wondering, lingering warmth on his lips.

(******)

The fact that James Potter was seriously the most hideous human being on the entire planet was all Lily could think of as she made her way to Gryffindor's tower. Okay, she would admit that the entire thing had not gone according to plan. Of course, according to the plan Lily's cheeks were not meant to shine the color of her hair as soon as she'd seen him. Total embarrassment wasn't meant to be felt. But they did and it was. Maybe it had been the wrong approach, she should had just gone and ask him to keep his mouth shut. Apologizing for kissing him really was lame. But Lily's mind was a complicated place and she knew there were 'should haves' that were not meant to be dwelt on.

Henry Bertrand, as Lily had predicted, was leaning against the wall next to the Fat Lady's portrait. He was chatting with a tall blonde girl. She guessed it was the girl he'd met during summer vacations. She looked young— younger than him, evidently. She was skinny and had a gentle smile and sparks in her blue eyes. He was laughing so hard, Lily almost felt guilty to interrupt. Henry's smile widen as he saw Lily.

"Lily! What a lovely surprise." he said "I don't think I've had the chance to introduce you guys. Lily, this is Isabella—the girl I told you about" He winked at her "Iz, this is Lily"

Isabella smiled too "Your very best friend? I've heard a lot about you, Lily"

"The very same. I hope good things" the red head said. "I'm sorry to interrupt"

"Not at all. In fact, I was just going. I've got an assignment for potions I need to take care of." Isabella stood slightly on her toes to give Henry a quick pick and a last warm smile to Lily before she took off.

"A darling, isn't she?" He stared at the stairs after she was gone.

"She looks really nice"

Henry gave her a kind smile and then sighed. "So, what's up?"

"Does anything need to be up for me to want to talk to you?"

"No. But there is. So, what is it?"

Do all men do that? Lily thought. "I was wondering if you know someone named Helena Burke?"

Henry arched an inquiring eyebrow. He began scratching the nape of his neck. "Not that I can recall. Who is she? Is she on Gryffindor?"

"No. Well, I don't actually know… What I meant was, she's not a student here. At least she hasn't been for a long time."

"And I should know her? Or was it just an open question?"

"Marlene found an article about her father and her mother's father was Antoine Bertrand— Head of the French Auror department. Back in 1940? Or something like that?"

"The name doesn't really ring a bell. I mean, I suppose we are related—all Bertrands supposedly are— but I do have a sort of big family on my father's side. Besides, they may have been my great-grand father's brother or first cousin or something of that sort."

Lily felt a twig of disappointment. She was kind of curious really; she wanted to know what had happened, if she had gone to become a writer somewhere else—maybe even the muggle world— or if she had gotten some fancy job at the ministry or if she had marry and dedicated to her family. And if she had marry, did she marry a pureblood like her parents would've wanted? A muggle? A muggleborn? If she didn't continue to write, then why? There were a million question she was dying to answer. She felt like she was in the middle of a book, and the last pages were missing. She had read her essays, her book, and felt the sort of connection you feel with the main character of any novel. You develop their feelings. Somehow, you start to understand them better than you could possibly understand anyone else, and really you may feel emphatically linked with them, so much so that their pain becomes your pain too, their joy and expectations become yours.

"Sorry I couldn't be of any help, love." He truly did look sorry. And Lily felt really bad for not remembering he was there.

"Not at all. I just read a book by her—by Helena Burke. Called the perks of independence. Best book I've read. She sort of disappears after the publication of the novel so I was trying to figure out what happened afterwards."

Henry thought about it for a second and said "What if she died?"

It hadn't occur to her, not really, whether or not she still lived. She suppose she did, after all she couldn't be too old now, could she?

"Maybe." was all she could summon.

(*******)

"You're Mary, aren't you?" Mary looked up and saw Leigh, Emmeline's tall blonde gorgeous boyfriend.

"The very same" He smiled at her. He had a kind smile, which was nice since most of Emmeline's past boyfriends (except for Henry) were just jerks. She was sitting below one of the trees, just outside the castle. She came here to read quite often, she couldn't quite concentrate in the common room or the bedroom—too much noice. But then, she couldn't really concentrate on the library either—to much silence. So she ended up here, where she was able to hear people passing, the wind and occasionally some other animal but wasn't too distracted by it. "Haven't seen Em in a while, I'm sorry, but my guess is that she's either in the common room or in the hallway near the lake."

"Oh, that's fine. I've just been with her. I just thought it was funny you were sitting right here".

Mary arched an eyebrow and looked down while she tucked her hair behind her ear. Maybe she had reached the conclusion he was nice too soon. Maybe he thought she was a loser for sitting all by herself here. Or maybe he thought she was a loser, period. She wasn't naive, not to this anyway. Mary knew that if it weren't for the girls, she wouldn't probably get invited to the parties she got invited. And she knew for a fact more slytherins would bully her.

"I come here to read. I can't read in the common room or the library. It's—"

"Too loud and too silent. I know, right?" he laughed. "I just thought it was funny because I come here and plan the Quidditch trainings since fifth year. In this very same spot."

Mary blinked. Once. Twice.

"Oh" was all she said.

"Sorry to interrupt" He pointed at her book.

"No, that's okay. I mean, I'm almost finished"

"And how was it?" He asked. He sounded sincerely curious.

She smiled. She had loved this book, though it was a muggle one, so she didn't believe he had even heard of it. "It's great. It's also a play I've already seen, so I knew how the story developed and everything. Although the details are totally worth it."

"Les miserables" he read out loud "Victor Hugo, huh?"

Mary was taken by surprise. A lot. Of course, Les Mis was a very famous play back in the muggle world, but she would never have bet Leigh Davies, who was a perfectly well-breed pure blood, could ever have heard of the book. Much less know the author.

"You've read the book?"

"Oh, not really. Just like you, I've seen the play. My mother loves muggle's theater, it's her little obsession. So whenever we go to the muggle side of London she makes sure we see a musical or a play. We don't get to go there that often, though. My father says it's not—safe." He said the last word a little wearily.

It was. Unsafe, that is. Nowadays, if you were a pureblood going to the muggle side of any city was like saying to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and his Death Eaters buddies "Hey, look, I'm a muggle sympathizer! Kill me!".

"Well, it isn't really safe. Nowhere is, to be honest"

"Exactly. Nowhere is. Safety seems like an illusion this days, you know?" He was sitting besides her now.

She did know. It was a touchy subject for most, as many had lost relatives or friends or acquaintances or whatever. Mary hadn't—she did not know many wizards or witches outside school, and students weren't really killing targets yet. Recruiting, definitely, but they were not that big a threat to kill off. But everyday, she'd see the unofficial section in the Daily Prophet listing the deaths, or the deaths of those who had been well known wizards.

"Yeah, I know" its all she could say.


End file.
